Annie’s Mailbox: Tough letting go of former love

Dear Annie: Eight months ago, I met the love of my life online. Everything started off great. “Jay” and I chatted every day.

However, at one point, a past lover of his intervened and warned me about some of his “issues.” I became a little bit paranoid and asked Jay to explain his side of things. He didn’t want to at first, but he finally relented, and we continued on. I told him I loved him.

Three months ago, Jay decided there was no way we could be anything more than friends. I struggled with just being friends, but eventually, I accepted it. Now, Jay seems to be making more and more friends and is phasing me out. One of my dearest friends died last week, and Jay hasn’t bothered to provide any comfort. I would cease all communication, but it would be difficult because the Internet community we belong to includes many mutual friends and chat forums.

Should I remain so-called friends or just let him go? – Confused Web Reader

Dear Confused: Please let him go. Jay is not the love of your life. You have confused the excitement of your initial contact with love, but now you have seen Jay’s true character. He isn’t interested in having a romantic relationship with you. If you think you can remain part of the same Internet community and not pine over him, fine. Try to ignore him as best you can. Otherwise, please expand your online presence so you aren’t as dependent on this particular community of people.