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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: This Kodak Moment is brought to you by hair

How do you look in old prom pictures?

Feel free to choose more than one answer. A) Pretty darned cute, I must say. B) Like the victim of a tragic salon accident. C) Ho of the year.

D) Prom? I didn’t go to no stinkin’ prom. E) Like a young man under the impression that he is an episode of “Miami Vice.” F) Eight miles high.

G) Like it was the 1970s and otherwise sane people actually thought those hair styles and makeup loads were attractive. H) Like a young woman with a casual moral attitude about après prom hijinks. I) Like someone wearing a dress that isn’t exactly providing total team coverage, if you catch my drift.

J) Dorothy Hamill or Pat Benatar wannabe. K) Like it must have been the same year as “Flashdance.” L) Paging Mr. Mullet. Mr. John Mullet, please pick up the nearest white courtesy phone.

M) Like some Eddie Haskell smiling at the camera-wielding mom while thinking impure thoughts about her nubile daughter. N) Like either Mork, Mindy or McLovin. O) You had not even left for the prom yet and you were already ’faced.

P) Like you did not wait for the legalization of marijuana. Q) Like one of “Charlie’s Angels.” R) Like a brick howwwwse.

S) Like you are hearing “Funky Cold Medina” over and over in your head. T) Like Miss Congeniality of 1971. U) Like you are yearning to whip your hair back and forth.

V) Super Freak. W) Hot. X) Like a girl in a biker movie – a girl name Trouble.

Y) Like a nice kid with a heart-breakingly sweet, innocent smile. Z) Other.

Just wondering: Let’s say you are in the residential real estate business. And you find yourself in someone’s house for a social gathering. If the homeowner sidles up and solicits an expert “If I decided to sell …” critique, do you tell the truth or sugarcoat it?

Today’s Slice questions: Do you pick up pennies when you come across them on sidewalks, streets or wherever? What’s your typical annual take? Are you less likely to pick up coins when visiting a big city because, well, they might be contaminated in a way coins back home wouldn’t be?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. There are several reasons why Bring Our Cats to Work Day is not a great idea.

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