Miss Manners: Vacationing houseguests don’t realize we have to work
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have some old friends who have recently retired and love to travel. Once a year they travel to our state and visit with their friends who live here. They send an email a week or two before their trip informing us when they will be in our area and ask to stay with us.
We are happy to have them stay in our home, but we are not retired. When they arrive, they plop themselves down and ask what we are going to do. We then scramble to be good hosts and escort them to local restaurants and sites of interest, fitting ourselves into their schedule on relatively short notice.
We would have no problem with their using our home as a hotel and enjoying some time with them if we were home at the same time, but it is taxing to be expected to provide vacation activities when we are not on vacation!
They repeat this pattern throughout our state, and when they arrive home, they send a blanket email to all of the people with whom they have stayed, offering their blanket thanks.
We never hear from them except when they are traveling our way or involved in fundraising for a charity they have adopted, and we are feeling ill-used. Are we too sensitive?
GENTLE READER: Or not sensitive enough. Why you are happy to have inconsiderate people use your house as a hotel baffles Miss Manners. But as you are, perhaps you should avail yourselves of the protections employed by hotels.
One would be to remain closed out of season. In your case, that would refer to your non-vacation periods, when you can say, “We’re so sorry, but this is not a good time for us,” adding, if you wish, that you would love to see them at a specified time that would be convenient for you.
Another would be to offer sightseeing and restaurant advice, as a good hotel clerk or concierge would do, while making it clear that you do not offer escorted tours. “You might enjoy this,” you could say with your recommendations. “We’re off to work, but have a good time, and let us know how it goes.”