I am not a formally trained psychoanalyst.
But I am prepared to weigh in on what your favorite Christmas song says about you.
Here goes. (Feel free to seek a second opinion.)
“White Christmas”: You are loyal to Spokane and have always related to the notion of wistful connections to a perfect childhood Christmas. You are a good person.
“River”: You wonder about some of the choices you have made since first hearing Joni Mitchell sing that. But you are no longer a drama queen.
“Happy Xmas (War is Over)”: You are sane.
“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”: You are OK with not being totally blissed out all the time. You realize feeling melancholy isn’t the same as feeling bad.
“The Chipmunk Song”: I am begging you to get some therapy.
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”: You are a traditionalist, a fan of the classics.
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”: Hearing Andy Williams reminds you of when others had the adult responsibilities and all you had to do was dream.
“The Holly and the Ivy”: You know a moving song when you hear it.
“Hark! The Herald Angels Sing”: You try to be guarded about holiday expectations but they still carry you away.
“Merry Christmas Darling”: You stopped worrying long ago about whether it was uncool to enjoy The Carpenters. You are confident and like yourself.
“Little Saint Nick”: Love and mercy, to you and your friends tonight.
“All I Want for Christmas is You”: All you want for Christmas is the 1994 Mariah Carey in a skimpy Santa suit.
“Here Comes Santa Claus”: Who doesn’t associate Elvis with Christmas?
“Holly Jolly Christmas”: You have repressed rage issues, but try to be a good person. Burl Ives represents your inner child. Hug it out.
“Jingle Bells” by the Singing Dogs: You are deranged, but not in a bad way.
“Linus and Lucy”: You have a hard time being happy if you know a friend or loved one is sad. It’s why people admire the carrying capacity of your heart.
“Silent Night”: Like the music you most enjoy, you are a classic yourself.
Today’s Slice question: What will be our area’s next staggering weather event?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email firstname.lastname@example.org. If you changed the lyric to “Last night I went to sleep in Spokane city,” what would the rest of the song say?