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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: With the ghost of Dec. 22 past

And now for a visit from the ghost of Christmas past.

Well, at least the ghost of Dec. 22 past. These Slice items appeared on this date once upon a time.

(1994) No comment: Durita McMahon overheard a sign-of-the-times Christmas conversation in which one participant was confused about which Madonna was being discussed.

(1998) A group of first-grade singers at Spokane’s Wilson Elementary were practicing “Deck the Halls.” But one little girl must have believed the seasonal song had a somber subtext. She kept singing, “Don we now our gray apparel.”

(2000) Today’s Slice question: What Christmas song makes you want to run screaming from the room?

(2001) Speaking of Santa: Treva Lind’s 7-year-old son found himself defending the big guy recently. “My son said his friend insisted there wasn’t any Santa because his mother had told him so,” said Lind.

But her boy had a response ready: “Well, if your mom told you to jump off a cliff, would you?”

Hmmm. Who says kids don’t listen?

(2006) (From a Christmas season interview with a marmot family. It turns out they can talk when it gets near the holiday.)

Q: What are currently the most popular baby names for marmots?

A: Well, for boys it’s Stinky and Calvin. For girls, it’s Flossie and LaDonna.

(2008) Warm-up questions: What percentage of sledders use actual sleds? How many different words do Inland Northwesterners have for snow? Do you think about tires more than you think about sex?

(2009) Once burned: The day after their usual send-off kiss at preschool had resulted in a static shock, Maria Washington once again leaned toward her 4-year-old, Brendan, to give him a goodbye peck.

With all sorts of people within earshot, Brendan came unglued. “No, mama! Not the kiss! You hurt me! You hurt me!”

(2011) “Grinch” speak: “Whenever my husband and I serve elk or deer roast, and the grandkids are present, we tell them we are having roast beast,” said Patsy Wood.

(2012) (This was that day’s ender line.) Name-callers are cretins.

(2014) How do you look in a Santa hat?: “With my now almost white beard, I look a lot like the jolly old elf himself,” wrote John Petrofski. “I also don’t need a pillow for the Santa suit.”

Today’s Slice question: Do you know anyone who got expelled from Sunday school?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Do you always notice the size of the paper Ralphie’s dad is reading in “A Christmas Story”?

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