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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Thanks for not saying “thanks”

It’s just a theory.

Can’t really prove it, mind you.

But I believe some of today’s young people do not send thank-you cards because they know how much pleasure their failure to do so gives certain much older gift-givers.

Isn’t that thoughtful?

Oh, sure. The youths in question could easily fire off an email or a text. Would just take a minute.

“Dear Grandma, Thank you for the socks.”

But why deprive Grandma of the weeks of pleasure she will derive from complaining about the younger generations? (There is blame enough to dump on both the grandkids and their parents. Especially their parents.)

So you see, the simple of act of failing to acknowledge a Christmas gift can give some older people hours and hours of sustained fussing/pleasure.

Yes, it might appear that Grandma is displeased. But the truth is, she is actually delighted to have her slightly sour world view confirmed.

That view, in a nutshell, holds that good manners are a thing of the past and the world is going to blazes.

Feeling that way is a time-honored tradition, going back many years. When Grandma was young, her own grandparents feared for the future and said so often.

Anyway, it’s always nice to send a thank-you card. But it could be argued that failing to do so actually delivers even more happiness to the gift-sender.

Of course, there’s nothing preventing a young person from sending a note like this.

“Dear Grandma: Thanks for the socks you sent me for Christmas. I know you think I am a vulgar little nitwit with a two-second attention span. I know you despise how I stare at computer games and personal communications devices 20 hours a day. But I want you to know that I love and admire you. And, in addition to thanking you for the socks, I want to express my appreciation for all that your long-suffering generation did to pave the way for my soft, coddled life. Next time you come for a visit, I hope you will tell some more enthralling ‘Back in my day…’ stories. Did you actually know the boys who walked on the moon?”

Nah. On second thought, it might be better to simply forget to send a gift acknowledgment.

That’s the one thing sure to please.

Today’s Slice question: Do you start your post-holiday depression now or wait until after New Year’s?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. What if Charlie Brown had cried “Isn’t there anyone who knows what Boxing Day is all about?”

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