This column reflects the opinion of the writer. Learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column.
The Slice: Dog days of winter
As you might have noticed, not everyone in the Spokane area is enthusiastic about winter.
It’s what separates us from dogs. Canines love winter, especially snow.
You want me to be more specific? OK, happy to oblige.
People: Hate it when they brush against a snow-laden tree branch or bush and some freezing cold snow falls down the back of their necks.
Dogs: Don’t care.
People: Have to put on all sorts of winter apparel before they are prepared to play in the snow.
Dogs: Always ready.
People: Look ungainly and rather amusing when trying to run in deep snow.
Dogs: Natural bounders.
People: Enjoy building snow sculptures.
Dogs: Enjoy peeing on snow sculptures.
People: Little ones look pretty cute in puffy snow suits.
Dogs: Little ones look pretty cute.
People: Make snowballs.
Dogs: Catch snowballs with their mouths.
People: Often don’t enjoy driving on snowy/icy streets.
Dogs: Most dogs don’t drive.
People: Regard deep snow as an epic challenge to their way of life.
Dogs: Sometimes get high-centered in deep snow, but usually do not lose their composure.
People: Most are seldom rubbed on the head and asked “Who’s a good boy/girl?”
Dogs: Are often asked and always know the answer, snow or no snow.
OK, so what about cats? What do they think of snow?
That’s tougher to answer. But a couple of general observations can be made.
People: Sometimes get one of a thousand different songs stuck in their head for hours.
Cats: They hear that theme music from those old National Geographic TV specials when they are out in the snow.
People: Some like being called abominable, in a snowy context.
Cats: Enjoy being referred to as snow leopards.
Speaking of animals: The Slice had referred to various mythic beasts that could be mentioned when trying to guess what animal left paw prints in the snow. That prompted a note from reader David Townsend.
“I would genuinely love to see what the marmotodon looked like when it roamed the Ice Age Inland Northwest. Perhaps you could invite young readers to submit their interpretations.”
Today’s Slice question: What do you try to time so that it happens exactly at midnight on New Year’s?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. The ratio of booze to eggnog varies greatly.