Miss Manners: Don’t be so quick to yell ‘Emergency’

The likelihood of emergencies seems to have increased alarmingly, judging from the number of people who cannot be temporarily parted from their cellphones, or who excuse themselves from commitments. Perhaps it is time to establish a definition.

The following occurrences are not, as a rule, emergencies:

• You left your lunch in the refrigerator at home.

• You forgot to record your favorite television show.

• You cannot find your car keys.

Before you rush to inform Miss Manners that you are diabetic and celiac, so that lunch would have kept you out of the emergency room; that the television show is the only thing that gets you through a stressful week without a breakdown; or that without your car keys, your toddler will be stranded at his after-school program, allow her to explain.

If the dietary and child care problems apply literally to your situation, you have Miss Manners’ sympathy and she will pause while you resolve the situation. She did say that such things are not “as a rule” emergencies. Watching television never is.

As someone who is susceptible to the charm of a good story, Miss Manners understands the human tendency to exaggerate. But the escalation of inconveniences into emergencies has both devalued the term and led us into avoidable incivility.

Miss Manners has never maintained that the classic example of yelling “Fire!” in a theater is rude when a fire literally exists. She does, however, insist that it is rude to yell because the popcorn is not ready and the trailers are going on too long.

Exceptions to normal behavior are made for emergencies. They are not made for annoyances, inconveniences, or – and this is the distinction most often forgotten – for situations that, if left untended, might perhaps, in some distant future, become emergencies.

Making this distinction requires an exercise of judgment. But please, let us agree to stop pushing and yelling over the daily vicissitudes of life.