Annie’s Mailbox: Sister’s made-up education hurts only her

Dear Annie: I am the youngest of three sisters. My oldest sister, “Betty,” lies about everything, from her relationships to her education. When Betty was younger, my mother thought she’d outgrow this phase, but it hasn’t happened. Betty is 48, and her stories have only become more detailed. Her specialty is claiming various college degrees.

In the past three years, Betty has told people she has degrees in marketing, finance, sociology and engineering. She says this on her social media pages and on her employment website profile. But Betty has never attended more than a couple of classes at the local junior college, although my sister and I both have degrees.

We are very worried about Betty. She often seems sad. We don’t understand why she tells these tall tales. Betty is a fantastic baker, cook and artist. My sister thinks Betty should get counseling, but Mom pleads with us not to say anything to her. Betty becomes defensive whenever anyone questions her education. She is isolating people who love her because she cannot converse without starting in with one of her made-up adventures.

Should I approach Betty about this? How do I let her know that she is loved with or without a degree? I don’t want to embarrass her. – Concerned One of Three

Dear Concerned: Betty may feel that she needs a college degree in order to measure up to her siblings. Your assurances that she’s a great cook and artist may not be prestigious enough in her eyes.

In order for Betty to stop lying, she would need to want to change her behavior, which can be done with counseling if she is willing to put forth the effort. She could even get that college degree, either online or at night. But you cannot force her to do either of these things. In the meantime, her lies hurt no one but herself, so please simply accept her as she is, and let her know how much you love her and that you want her to be happy.