Annie’s Mailbox: Filthy house presents dilemma

Dear Annie: How do you tell a couple they have a filthy house? Up until recently, they seemed to make an effort, but lately, we find it difficult to accept invitations to their home. They are nice people, but we are not so close that we can tell them about this.

Their two dogs have the run of the house. The cat is allowed to crawl on the kitchen counters and tables. There is a thick accumulation of pet hair that rolls across their floors like tumbleweed and sticks in the folds of their sofa. You could knit a sweater with what you’d sweep up in one room. When I leave their house, I feel like I need a bath. I know other families with pets, and their homes are cleaner. I don’t understand why they refuse to see it.

If I confront them, I risk the friendship. If I quit accepting invitations, I risk the friendship. Is there a kind way to tell them? – Louisville, Ky.

Dear Louisville: Maintaining a hair-free home when you have three pets requires frequent cleaning, which your friends apparently are no longer up to handling. Are they in good health? Perhaps they are not physically able to clean or supervise where the animals go. How is their vision? Maybe they cannot see the animal hair. If you can express your concern about their health, that could be a kind way to approach the subject. Otherwise, feel free to make excuses not to visit, but please invite them to your home so they don’t feel you dislike them.