Take offer of friendship at face value

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently did business for the first time with some very nice people. There was a bit of a mix-up, and to make things right, they offered to take me out to dinner.

After dinner, one of them enthusiastically said something like, “We are going to be great friends!”

I had only been acquainted with these people for three days, and they live across the country and rarely visit this area. Furthermore, I know that they are hoping to leave the door open for future business with me, which would benefit them financially (albeit by a very small sum).

In fact, I would love to be friends with them, as they are simply enchanting and very well-respected. However, I felt that they could not possibly be serious about this, so I simply said something like, “How nice of you!” They picked up on it and joked that I didn’t want to be their friend.

I guess I am being too cold. Maybe a person with better social skills would have said, “Yes, we’ll be great friends!” with the understanding that everyone involved knew this to be untrue. Right?

GENTLE READER: So you would like to be friends with these people, but are pre-emptively squashing it by suspecting their motives? Miss Manners congratulates you on successfully closing that door.

Had it not occurred to you that with modern technology, you would be able to communicate easily in the future – and should either party happen to be in the other’s city in the future, you could have enjoyed another pleasant outing? Not to mention the business aspect that could have been mutually beneficial.

Everyone, please stop ascribing motives to innocuous statements and being “completely honest.”