Long-ago abuse must be treated

Dear Annie: My 16-year-old son, “Freddie,” has always kept to himself. We see Freddie’s uncle about once a year, and I only recently discovered that this same uncle molested Freddie when the boy was 7 years old. I had no clue. When Freddie was 11, I spoke with him about inappropriate touching, but he never told me about his uncle.

I’ve always been protective of Freddie and thought we were fine, until an aunt confronted Freddie, saying he had inappropriately touched my adult niece a few months ago. What do I do about this? – Mom’s Heartache

Dear Mom: Sexually abused children can become sexual abusers if the original abuse was not properly dealt with. Your niece is an adult and more capable of protecting herself from a 16-year-old’s inappropriate touching than a child would be. But it indicates that Freddie may still need help. Please contact RAINN (rainn.org) for information and referrals.

Dear Annie: My wife can’t stop interrupting me while I’m talking. She either finishes my thought for me, or she just moves on to the next thing she wants to say without waiting for me to finish speaking.

My wife is aware that there is a problem, and she feels bad when I point it out, but she evidently can’t do anything about it. She doesn’t even realize she’s doing it unless I tell her, “You interrupted me again.” There are times when I don’t feel like talking to her because I know she’s just going to cut me off. What can either of us do? – Cut Short

Dear Cut: If your wife truly wants to stop and you are willing to make the effort, you can train each other. First check your own speech habits. Do you drone on and on? Do you restate the obvious? Do you repeat yourself? Work on shorter sentences, and then help your wife learn to wait until you are finished before speaking. This will require that she make a genuine effort, and you will need to remind her, gently, each time she interrupts.