Doug Clark: 25,000 pounds of pot? Let’s all light up

I was thunderstruck the other day to read that Washington’s booming marijuana biz is in an “economic nightmare” because of an overload of weed.

What? I thought passing High-502, the initiative to legalize marijuana, was supposed to usher in a New Age of potsperity.

On the contrary, it seems.

This ganja glut has growers “struggling to survive,” reports a recent news story.

Poor souls.

But that’s not even the worst part of this story. The worst part is that this doobage disaster appears to be all our fault.

To quote …

“A big harvest of sun-grown marijuana from Eastern Washington last fall flooded the market.”

Dude, I feel so bummed.

And I know anyone who cares about the plight of the pot farmer feels the same way.

So what can we as concerned citizens do to help?

After analyzing this problem for a solid several minutes, the obvious solution came to mind.

Everybody must get stoned!

Yes, I realize that this is a line from that bouncy old Bob Dylan tune.

“ Well, they’ll stone you when you’re walkin’ ’long the street.

“They’ll stone you when you’re trying to keep your seat …”

But I would not feel so all alone.

Everybody must get stoned.”

But let’s not get lost in nostalgia from my vinyl album days.

The point is that Eastern Washington created this marijuana mess so Eastern Washington should have to smoke its way out of it.

For the record, I don’t use marijuana. Heck, I’ve never even stepped inside one of those new pot parlors.

But this isn’t about smoking weed for weed’s sake.

This is about doing the right thing to get the Washington cannabis economy back in the black.

Let’s look at the numbers.

Statistics show that less than a fifth of the 31,000 pounds of harvested bud have been sold through legal stores, which is really pathetic.

We here in the non-THC community can’t just sit back and expect Seth Rogen fans and the Spokane City Council to do all the heavy toking.

I’ve done the math. It’s going to take a concerted effort from everyone to get rid of almost 25,000 pounds of agrarian surplus.

There are plenty questions, naturally.

Like will the Hostess and Frito-Lay companies be able to keep up with the flood of Doritos and Ding Dong demands?

Or will there be enough bongs to go around?

Who knows.

Back in the old days, having too much weed was no big deal. Shadowy dope lords would simply order their dealers to spend more time in Peaceful Valley.

Ah, but those hippie dippy days are long gone.

It’s time to come together like they did back in World War II, when everybody pitched in and sacrificed to do his or her part.

I’m talking church groups and nursing homes and Rotarians and Junior Leaguers and …

I’ll be out of town, but I’m positive the rest of you could blaze that 25,000 pounds in a giant Spocannabis Weekend at Riverblunt Park.

It’s just simple economics – a case of supply and “Yo, man!”