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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: During absence, we recall a bad break

Paul Turner is taking some time off this summer. In his absence, we dive into the archives at Slice Central. Today, we revisit July 16, 2012.

Can you take another gym class story? OK, here you go.

“What I learned from dodgeball, at Sacajawea in 1963, was what it feels like when you break your wrist,” wrote Fritz Howard. “The lesson continued with learning to deal with a plaster cast for the next six weeks.”

I asked for more details.

“As you may recall, teams lined up against the far walls of the gym and the balls were set on the floor in the center. Then all the kids would run as fast they could toward the balls (and each other). First one there picked up the ball and, at close range, slaughtered some slow seventh-grader on the other side of the line.

“I was going to be the first to the ball when one of my teammates shoved me out of the way. I went down on the floor and both felt and heard the wrist break. To add insult to true injury, as I was scuttling to the sidelines, someone pegged me with a ball!

“What adult ever thought dodgeball was a good idea?”

SLICE ANSWER: “What I would say to the driver of a car in which I was riding if he or she started texting: ‘How ‘bout if you pull over and I take over the driving for you? I’d like to get where we’re going alive.’”- Caryn Alley

MINOR MIRACLES DEPARTMENT: Got a note from Chris Powell, director of security for the Davenport Hotel properties in downtown Spokane.

A guy who works for him, a security officer named James, was floating on the Coeur d’Alene River near Kingston last July when he lost his wallet.

A year later, an owner of riverfront property along that stretch found it.

Sure, James would have had to go through all the credit card/ID-replacement hassles long ago. But at least now he doesn’t have to worry about some fish finding it and trying to steal his identity.

“Hello, Worms R Us? My name is, uh, James, and I would like to order a case of organic nightcrawlers. Yes, I have a MasterCard. And I’d like to overnight this.”

TODAY’S SLICE QUESTION: What was the most bizarre play you ever saw in a softball game?

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