Annie’s Mailbox: Lopsided funds may pit brothers

Dear Annie: While my mother was still alive, she gave a substantial amount of money to my oldest son, “Rick.” Everyone but Mother knew she was supporting his drug habit (which he has since overcome). When she died, her will gave equal amounts of money to both of my sons. My younger son, “Chris,” was hurt by his grandmother’s lopsided generosity to his brother, and it may be part of the reason my adult sons aren’t close today.

Rick’s father, my first husband, will be leaving him his entire estate, so he will be financially set. My current husband and I recently completed our will, leaving most of our assets to Chris.

Based upon what my mother did, I’m concerned that Rick will be hurt if he finds out that his stepfather and I didn’t leave him an equal share. But I don’t believe my husband is obligated to leave the same amount to his stepson as he does to his biological son. What do you think?– Trying to Avoid Hurt Feelings

Dear Trying: Did your husband help raise Rick? Can your assets be separated from your husband’s so that his entire estate goes to Chris, but yours is split in half? Would Rick be understanding if you discussed these issues in advance? Unequal bequests create problems because it appears that the parent loved one child more than the other. If you explain your reasoning, it’s possible your sons will understand and not be surprised and hurt later.