Love Stories: Box of cookies sent to Vietnam was the spark that ignited their long union

John Rotell has three great loves: music, medicine and Darlene, his wife of 46 years.

Born into a boisterous Italian family in Pennsylvania, he joined the Army after graduating from high school.

“I volunteered for the draft in 1958 because I was tired of standing in the unemployment line,” he said.

His familiarity with the military began when he was a child. His family lived across the highway from Camp Reynolds, a German prisoner-of-war camp, and his father managed the commissary.

During his three-year stint, he served as a medic/OR tech and fell in love with medicine.He enrolled in nursing school as soon as he got out.

School proved expensive and when the military offered to pay for it if he served more time, John agreed. He was promptly sent to Vietnam.

He worked in triage at the 85th Evacuation Hospital in Qui Nhon.

Like many who served in Vietnam, he’s reluctant to speak of his time there.

“I saw a lot of death and destruction – more than I wanted to see,” he said. “War is ugly and smells very bad. The only thing you can never forget is the smell of death.”

He shrugged.

“The first two rules of warfare are No. 1, young men die, and No. 2, you can’t change rule No. 1,” he said. “I quickly learned how fragile life is.”

When he returned to the states, he plunged headlong into another love – music.

Blessed with the ability to hear a song and instantly retain it, he was contacted by his childhood friend Tony Butala of The Lettermen.

“I’d done some back-up for them,” said John.

For a couple of years, he traveled with The Lettermen, serving as backup singer, vocal arranger and road manager. While he enjoyed the work, it wasn’t something he wanted to do for the rest of his life. So, in 1970 he returned to the military – this time the Air Force. He wanted to continue his medical training and become a nurse practitioner and knew the military would pay for his school.

While in Vietnam, he’d received a box of cookies from employees of a bank in Salem. He’d stopped in to thank them upon his return and ended up making friends there. He decided to visit them again before departing for training in Texas.

“I called my buddy and told him to get me a date and we’d all go out to dinner,” recalled John.

In their North Side dining room, that “date” laughed.

“I’d heard about this guy from my friends so I reluctantly agreed to the date. I went to their house to meet him, but he was still in the bathroom primping,” Darlene said.

They enjoyed their evening and the next day John offered to drive her to the coast where her parents were vacationing.

“It got real foggy, and Mother wouldn’t let him drive back to Salem,” said Darlene.

All four of them slept in the living room. John and her dad on one side, she and her mom on the other.

“Mom and I got the giggles because my dad would snore, then John would, but in a different octave,” she said.

The snoring didn’t put her off. When John left for Texas the next day, she knew she was hooked.

John was more than hooked – he was in love.

“I knew this was it,” he said.

He called her several times and proposed during his third call.

Darlene hesitated. It wasn’t that she barely knew John – she already knew she loved him. But she wasn’t sure she wanted to be a military wife.

“I had to think about the pros and cons,” she said.

John grinned. “So I called her back. She said ‘yes’ and jumped for joy.”

Darlene’s family wasn’t enthusiastic about the nuptials. She was just 22 and had only spent about five days with John, who was nine years her senior. But that wasn’t their only concern. Though her mother was also Italian, she was sure John had connections to organized crime because he was from the East Coast.

Her dad had a different objection.

“My father was in the Army, and he hated the Air Force,” Darlene said.

While John’s family wasn’t opposed to the match, his mother did have one stipulation.

“You must have a priest,” she insisted.

John was Catholic. Darlene was not.

So, on Nov. 7, 1970, the couple married at a Lutheran church in Salem, with a Catholic priest and the church’s pastor officiating.

“My mother always insisted that the priest married us first,” John said.

The wedding didn’t go off without a hitch, however. Darlene had yet to see her wedding ring, and when the time came for John’s brother to hand it to him, he couldn’t find it. He frantically searched his pockets while the minister, the priest, the crowd and the anxious couple watched.

The best man looked in vain and finally pulled his own ring off his finger and handed it to John.

The memory prompted a burst of laughter.

“It was a big Buddha!” John exclaimed.

Horrified and bewildered, Darlene stared at the ring, but managed to say her vows. After the ceremony John’s brother found the errant ring had slipped through a hole in the lining of his jacket pocket and worked its way to the back.

The couple barely settled into married life when John received orders for the Philippines. After seven months apart, John sent for Darlene. By the time she flew home she was expecting their daughter, Shawna, who arrived in October 1972. Daughter Maria completed their family in October 1975.

After several moves, John was assigned to Fairchild Air Force Base in 1976. They bought a home in the Whitworth area.

“We’ve been here ever since,” he said.

When he retired from the military, he purchased Spearman Gardens in Millwood and tried a new career. Darlene worked alongside him after getting the girls off to school in the morning, but after several years of 14- to 16-hour days, they sold the nursery and John went back to nursing. He worked at Rockwood Clinic Urgent Care for 25 years before retiring in 2014.

“I think the greatest work is medicine,” he said. “I loved what I did.”

The couple enjoy their grandchildren and spending time at their Deer Lake home. When they reflected on their 46 years of marriage, they admitted it hasn’t always been easy.

“But I made a promise – for better or for worse,” Darlene said. “I appreciate his kind, giving personality.”

Of John’s three great loves, his passion for his wife burns brightest. He likened their union to the story of two trees growing closely together.

“Over the years, their roots grew together and eventually became one.”

Smiling at Darlene, he said, “That’s the stage of life we’re in.”

Know someone who is in love? Love Stories celebrates relationships that are strong and enduring. Whether you’re dating, recently married, or have passed the 50-year mark, let us tell your tale. Email your suggestions to correspondent Cindy Hval at dchval@juno.com