Arrow-right Camera
The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
News >  Features

Dear Annie: Daughter has permanent chip on her shoulder

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: My children are grown and have wonderful families of their own, but my daughter is extremely jealous of her brother and his family.

My daughter moved to another state after she graduated college (she is the eldest) and lived with her father for a while before she married and had her two children. She lived there for almost 24 years before she came back to our hometown. My son and I were close because his dad and I were divorced for four years before I remarried and we only had each other. Even after he moved out and got married, we remained close.

Five years ago, my daughter divorced her husband, moved home and married a nice man here. But never in these five years has she had us down to her home for a meal, though we’ve had them over to our place many times and on most holidays. On the holidays we don’t host, we are all invited to my son’s, two hours away. My daughter complains because of the drive, yet she won’t have any of the holidays at her house. She always has excuses – that her house is too small, she can’t cook, etc. But we have answers for all of those.

When I talk about her brother, she gets upset, but I talk about her life and compliment her all the time. She lives 1 mile from me but never comes by. When I go there, she is too busy watching TV or sleeping.

When my mom was alive, there was never a day I didn’t talk to her, and most days I just dropped by her house to see how she was doing. I wish I had this kind of relationship with my daughter. She refers to her brother as “the chosen child.”

I am 68 years old and don’t want to die and have my children hate each other after I’m gone. – Moderator Mom

Dear Moderator: Your daughter is so attached to that chip on her shoulder she should give it a name. It’s possible she’s holding on to a lot of anger from her divorce; maybe she blames her ex-husband for their living in another state for 24 years and she is taking that resentment out on you and your son because she feels as if she missed out. Regardless, she’s being unfair.

Continue to shower her with affection – but refuse to indulge the self-pitying remarks. You clearly care equally about both of your children. Her attitude is no reflection on your love.

Dear Annie: I don’t know whether anyone else has this problem, but it grosses me out, big-time!

Once in a while when I get my mail from the mailbox, it has cockroaches mixed in. I have called the post office, but the people there say the roaches crawled into the mailbox by themselves. Anyone who knows anything about roaches knows that they are too smart to crawl into any place that would roast them alive as soon as the sun hits it. I don’t want to cost anyone a job, but the problem needs to be fixed. Any ideas? – Grossed Out in Missouri

Dear Grossed Out: Unless you’ve subscribed to a ”Bug of the Month” club for amateur entomologists, no, there’s nothing normal about finding cockroaches in the mailbox. Talk to other people on the block and see whether they’ve had the same problem. If they have, call the post office again, and ask your neighbors to do the same.

If it turns out you’re the only lucky one with this problem, you can sprinkle the ground surrounding your mailbox with diatomaceous earth or crushed bay leaves to deter pests from making themselves at home in your coupons. You might also want to spray the outside of the box itself with pesticide. If you’d prefer to keep it natural, use a solution of mint essential oil and water – 25 drops of the oil per cup of water.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at COPYRIGHT 2016 CREATORS.COM

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

Local journalism is essential.

Give directly to The Spokesman-Review's Northwest Passages community forums series -- which helps to offset the costs of several reporter and editor positions at the newspaper -- by using the easy options below. Gifts processed in this system are not tax deductible, but are predominately used to help meet the local financial requirements needed to receive national matching-grant funds.

Active Person

Subscribe now to get breaking news alerts in your email inbox

Get breaking news delivered to your inbox as it happens.