Annie’s Mailbox: Husband has turned into flatulent frat boy

Dear Annie: After more than 30 years, my husband has turned into one disgusting human being. He retired on disability some time ago, and has slowly gone from a very intelligent man to a human cesspool.

He burps loudly and thinks his flatulence is amusing, and he believes I should just put up with both. After years of trying to be a supportive spouse, this is the thanks I get. It’s not funny to me any longer, but I don’t have the nerve to tell him that I’ve lost all respect for him. I cannot bring friends to the house because of his boorish behavior, which I suspect is just what he wants.

I used to admire my husband. Now I wouldn’t care if something happened to him, if you know what I mean. If I had one wish, it would be not to have him in my life any longer. Do you have any suggestions? – Frat Boy’s Wife

Dear Wife: We have a few. If you don’t communicate clearly with your husband, he will not know how you feel. Tell him you have lost all respect for him. Insist he see his doctor to find out why he cannot control his bodily functions, since this change in his previous behavior could indicate a small stroke or dementia. (That might get his attention.) Tell him you are ready to walk out the door, because that is an easy way not to have him in your life. And if you truly mean it, you ought to do it. Otherwise, absent yourself as much as possible. Go out to dinner with friends, and leave him at home. Find a hobby that gets you out of the house. Take long vacations to see the relatives. Book a trip with a tour group. Many couples find a modicum of contentment living independent lives when too much closeness becomes suffocating.