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The Slice: Reviewing the Marmot Lodge’s existential year
This might be a good time to review the Marmot Lodge’s activities in the last year.
There have been questions about the organization’s status. So perhaps this report from yours truly, the Grand Exalted Poobah for Life, can address any concerns that the lodge, now entering its ninth year, has lost focus or is somehow philosophically adrift.
First, let me summarize the ML’s 2015 highlights.
No meetings were held.
No committees were formed.
No dues were collected.
No funny hats were worn.
No votes were taken.
No reprimands were issued.
No sergeant at arms was needed.
No bylaws were amended.
No prospective member was blackballed.
No scholarships were endowed.
No bowling team was sponsored.
No politicians were endorsed.
The lodge took part in no armed insurrections.
Our secret handshake, inspired by the insertion of a colonoscopy wand, remains unchanged.
And membership, which exceeded 1,000 shortly after the lodge’s formation, presumably held steady. (Once a Marmot, always a Marmot.)
But some have asked, “What does the lodge do?”
Well, I’ll tell you. We wish each other well. We root for the Inland Northwest. We encourage. We congratulate. And we aspire to be better.
We want to be known as people who will stop and help you up if you stumble. We believe in civil disagreement. We believe in fair play and fellowship. We metaphorically link arms to form an invisible web of support for anyone whose spirits are low. We pet cats and dogs. We eat lentils.
We do not want to go to meetings.
And we have been known to say “E pluribus marmot.”
Skin deep: You know the conversation has taken an odd turn when you hear people debating “Which city has better-looking people, Spokane or Coeur d’Alene?”
Of course, any exchange that invites generalizations that ridiculous tends to be a bit silly. But the thing is, there are those who believe there really is a case to be made for one city or the other.
How about you? Shallowness and subjectivity aside, do you think residents of Coeur d’Alene tend to be more attractive than inhabitants of Spokane?
Today’s Slice question: How much money would you have if you had a dollar for every time you dealt with someone long-distance who assumed Spokane is right next to that other Washington city that starts with an S?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Does it bug you when someone who hardly knows you addresses you by your nickname?