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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Pre-movie chats are not to be shushed

Judith Martin

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend and I arrived about 20 minutes early for a movie and were chatting quietly during the (advertising-heavy) digital pre-show. About five minutes later, an older couple came in and sat in front of us, and about five minutes after that, the man turned around and admonished us to be quiet.

We complied, but I was startled, as I thought it was acceptable to talk until the trailers began. Is there now an expectation of silence for the half-hour presentation before the trailers?

GENTLE READER: There is not – a theater is not a library. But Miss Manners suggests that rather than attempting to school an elderly couple, you apologize: “I’m so sorry. We thought the show had not yet begun. We’ll try to keep our voices down during the advertisements.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I made the decision years ago to be low-tech. We are raising our children without cable TV, MP3 players or fancy smartphones or tablets, because we want our children to be able to entertain themselves with their imaginations and because we don’t want to have bickering over screen time.

I have an old cellphone. Many times over the last year, as I have pulled it out, people (relatives, friends, colleagues, receptionists at the dentist, just to name a few) have told me that I need to buy a new phone.

What is it about technology that makes people feel justified in telling others – even ones they don’t know – that their possessions are not up to snuff?

I think these same people would find it very rude if I told them their shoes/purse/car looked shabby, and they should go buy something smarter-looking.

GENTLE READER: They would indeed, and they would be right.

Miss Manners fears the only difference in the case of technology is that the targets of such insults are often vulnerable, afraid of being themselves considered ready for the dust heap. You are quite right to interpret this as unwarranted busybody-ness.