“Grandma pulled this out of the trash in an alley”
So apparently you have to watch what you say around little kids.
Who knew?
Here’s the story.
“So there’s this thrift shop in town where goods are sold by the pound,” wrote a regular contributor who asked that I keep her name to myself on this occasion. “Items are displayed in long rolling bins. It’s great fun and was an instant hit with our 4-year-old granddaughter Amelia.
“Unfortunately, we referred to it as ‘dumpster diving’ (which is just plain fun to say). Soon there were questions from the other grandma and Amelia’s preschool teacher regarding the acquisition of certain show-and-tell items.
“I showed Amelia an actual dumpster and explained why we had to properly call the store a thrift shop from now on. Now when she comes to visit and wants to go junking, she says ‘We can’t say the D word, can we Grandma?’ ”
What ticks might be thinking as a meal (you) draws closer: “Sure hope it is O-positive. It goes with anything.” – Tom Stewart
When someone ignores his cheerful greeting: Gary Magney says, “I’m fine, thank you. Yourself?”
Today’s gullibility story: This comes courtesy of Ken Lutz.
“Shortly after my brother married his wife, Sally, they went to the farm in Lind to visit our folks. My dad was raising a few pigs at the time. Sally, being an animal lover, just had to see the pigs. While Dad was feeding said pigs they were talking, and Sally said she always wondered how farmers got the bacon to be so marbled. Dad, without missing a beat, said he fed them extra grain one day and then starved them the next, causing the marbling. She believed him for a very long time.”
Funeral songs: “My mother always said she wanted her favorite song played at her funeral, so when she passed we asked the organist to play it, and as the procession began, he played a very dignified version of the ‘Beer Barrel Polka’ – brought a smile to our lips on a sad day.” – Mary Hahn
Kathy Wright shared this. “When my mom passed, on a Tuesday afternoon, we decided to play that song by the Moody Blues, as it had been a favorite of hers.”
Tuesday, afternoon. I’m just beginning to see. Now I’m on my way.
Today’s Slice question: How did your good luck shirt/blouse achieve that status?
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