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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Miss Manners: Window seat occupant is master of most of what she surveys

By Judith Martin and Jacobina Martin Universal Uclick

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I happen to enjoy sitting next to the airplane window so I can look out at the scenery below and because looking out helps me feel less claustrophobic.

At 8 a.m. on a long flight, a woman asked me to shut my window. I explained that I liked it at least halfway up as it helped me feel less claustrophobic. She summoned the flight attendant and got that woman to insist that I shut my window completely. Not wishing to cause trouble at 10,000 feet, I complied.

Conversely, when I am in an aisle seat, is it rude to ask the stranger next to me to raise the shade? So who is in charge?

GENTLE READER: The person seated by the window – with limitations, of course. After all, the person on the aisle is in charge of access to the bathroom, but would be wrong to deny you yours. Compromises must be made.

In order to fend off future scuffles, Miss Manners suggests that you politely inform your travel companions of your window preferences as soon as you are seated. But if their preferences are more pressing than yours, then you should oblige.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have lived in my neighborhood for 26 years. One of my longtime neighbors built a new home 4 miles away. It has been five months since the move, and no one has been invited over to see her new home.

I thought that she would be having a housewarming party at some point in time, but I did send a new-home card with a gift card to a local nursery right after the move.

Another neighbor saw her and asked when she could come to see her new house. The reply was, “When I have my going-away party.”

Should we have given her a going-away party for moving 4 miles away?

GENTLE READER: Watch out for people who demand that parties be given for them. But “whoops!” you are one of them.

As the neighbors continue to include the former neighbor socially, the test will be whether she reciprocates that sort of hospitality, not whether either of you is owed a party from the past.

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