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Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Here at the Past Lives Pavilion

To look at you now, people would probably not guess …

“That I was in a punk band called the Wirms in the late ’70s.” – George X. Hale

“I was the skinniest kid in my class in grade school.” – Mike Storms

“That I used to be a skinny little kid.” – Les Graham

“I used to be a Scout, trustworthy and loyal.” – Lan Hellie

“I drove the fuel truck for a helicopter outfit.” – Libby Beck

Setting the record straight: “It is not the kids whose blood goes cold when you mention school clothes shopping during the summer,” wrote Karen Botker of Hayden. “It is the adult who has to take them, pay for it, argue over modesty or price, and deal with the rolling of the eyes, or lying on the dressing room floors (depending on the age you are dealing with).”

Accounts receivable, man: Patty Gaul shared this.

“At my son’s wedding, a friend of his asked me, ‘I always wondered, were you a hippie when you were younger?’ ”

Patty’s response? “Oh no, I was an accountant.”

Slice answer (more on the hippie or redneck theme): Did you ride a chopper or drive a truck? “Yes,” said Mack Stanhope.

Today’s Slice question: If you had lived back in the Old West, what do you imagine you would have done?

A) Sodbuster. B) Ramrod on cattle drives. C) Died from a now preventable childhood disease. D) Attacked wagon trains. E) Smelled pretty bad. F) Worked as a saloon girl. G) Helped build a railroad. H) Had toothaches all the time. I) Been a claim jumper. J) Drank red eye and driven a stage coach. K) Asked “Where are all these white people coming from?” L) Been sexually harassed by drovers. M) Hit my head and gotten amnesia, then fallen into some quicksand. N) Shot my enemies in the back. O) Been dehydrated all the time. P) Worn a hat that was mostly one big sweat stain. Q) Wrote letters to the folks back in Ohio, telling them all about what a big success I had become. R) Said, “No, really, where are all these white people coming from?” S) Experienced ennui and applied for the position of town drunk. T) Been a good-looking schoolmarm. U) Been a snake oil salesman whose grandson would become a U.S. senator. V) Ate beans and gotten bit by a rabid dog. W) Gotten mauled by a bear. X) Been a polygamist blacksmith. Y) Started a lumber company. Z) Figured out what exactly “dry goods” means.

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email This week at Expo ’74: Jack Benny.

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