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The Slice: The Slice: Another weekend of talking about the time

Today The Slice presents a transcript of an exclusive interview with the portion of Idaho that’s in the Pacific Time zone.

As always, you would not believe what she had to say.

Q: So let’s be frank. A lot of people in the Idaho Panhandle at least occasionally talk trash about Spokane. But here you are sharing Spokane’s time zone. What gives with that?

A: Have you ever heard what people over here have to say about Boise?

Q: But isn’t that admitting that Kootenai County and the rest are under the thumb of Spokane? Your clocks bow down to us!

A: Well, if you want to be childish about it. I suppose you could look at it that way. But it’s actually about commerce and our shared broadcast media market.

Q: Oh. Well, you realize of course that being in the Pacific Time zone puts you in the same time zone as Seattle. Seattle! Doesn’t that make ultra-conservative heads over there in Idaho explode?

A: What about ultraconservative heads in Spokane?

Q: Yeah, well. OK. But doesn’t having two time zones make Idaho a state divided? Doesn’t it make for an irreparable rift, a psychic schism?

A: I’d recommend that you not try to psychoanalyze Idaho.

Q: But you do realize, don’t you, that it’s Spokane’s time zone?

A: I hate to break this to you, but Idaho residents also use Spokane’s airport and visit the Spokane Arena. Among other things.

Q: Well, uh, that’s fine. I mean, you are welcome to come over. It’s just that …

A: But since we are on the subject, let me ask you something. Can you imagine summer in Spokane without Idaho’s lakes? Or winter without our ski runs?

Q: I think we got off track here. I was just asking about the time zone thing. I mean, doesn’t it seem strange?

A: Not at all. There is no Iron Curtain between the two states. Spokane might be the hub of the Inland Empire, but a whole lot of that empire is in Idaho.

Q: I thought we were saying “Inland Northwest” now.

A: In Idaho, we respect tradition.

Q: Well, look. You’re welcome to share our time zone. In fact, we’re delighted that you do. OK?

A: OK. It’s our time zone, too.

Today’s Slice question: How do you react to a crushing vise-grip handshake?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Memorial Day weekend is 10 weekends away.

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