Dear Annie: I adopted two older children from orphanages and now they are adults. They both suffered abuse in their childhood years, but seem to be achieving more than expected.
My older child, “Rose,” married a man with a gambling addiction and an attraction for young children. Rose has a baby and wants to keep the father in the picture. She goes along with whatever he says and rationalizes their behavior as normal. I suspect they deal in child pornography to supplement their income, as this has been a problem in the past.
My youngest daughter, “Meg,” has a 10-year-old daughter who was molested by these two when she was 5. The family decided never to allow the child to be alone with Rose and her husband. Meg reported the incidentand someone contacted child protective services. Unfortunately, the facts of the case got mixed up and Meg was found guilty of failing to protect her daughter, while the perpetrators were never interviewed. Rose and her husband moved out of state.
Meg is finally getting her degree, but she is panicked about finding a job. She is talking about moving near Rose. Meg says she wants to be closer to her sister and promises never to leave her daughter unsupervised.
I worry constantly about the baby’s safety and what could happen to Meg’s daughter. How can I protect my granddaughter if she moves out of state? – Frightened Grandma
Dear Grandma: This situation is reprehensible. Meg can find a job in another city just as easily as she can in Rose’s area. We wonder why she is so determined to go there, knowing the risks. If Meg stays in Rose’s home, report the situation to their local CPS. You can do so anonymously. They will investigate the home. And if there is any chance they may be abusing the baby, call CPS immediately.
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