The Slice: The perfect day to double down on Spokane

A Slice item that ran in early May of 1995 involved a 3-year-old local girl referring to “St. Mother’s Day.”

The child’s mother corrected her, but admitted she sort of liked the sound of that.

So do I.

Here’s the thing. We all know Father’s Day was invented in Spokane. A few of us might even have some vague awareness of Mother’s Day’s distant origins.

But if we hereabouts embraced this St. Mother’s Day theme, just think. We might one day lay claim to both of the parental appreciation Sundays.

St. Mother’s Day would not immediately supplant the more secular-sounding May occasion. But if we promote it right …

So, here’s the question. Just what might St. Mother’s Day entail? What would make it distinct from the standard Mother’s Day?

Well, we could have the Feast of St. Mother’s Day. Don’t you like the sound of that? The event would have a food focus, of course. But it could also borrow elements from Festivus, the “Seinfeld” holiday.

You know, feats of strength, airing of grievances, et cetera.

“Mom, I have to tell you, the thing you do that has driven me crazy for 40 years is…”

And mom would get her turn. “I know you all think repeatedly inquiring about the status of my will is supposed to show concern, but you aren’t fooling me for one second.”

That’s just the beginning. We could have the the Purging of the Whiners, the Running of the Ungrateful Brats, and the Vigil of the Human Grizzly Sows.

St. Mothers Day could include an educational component, with seminars such as “How to Get Your Adult Son to Move Out of Your Basement” and “How to Rock Your Mom Jeans.”

Mix in some “Marmot Mom” T-shirts, vats of maternal lentils and “Great Place to Raise Cubs” posters and we might have something here.

Now not everyone comes from a religious tradition. So St. Mother’s Day would have to overcome resistance.

And I suppose this could all seem like sacrilege to those who, for instance, realize there is no patron saint of carpooling.

So maybe this isn’t a great idea. But some of us try to think of new and better ways to show mothers we love them.

That impulse, at least, is no joke.

The truth is, mothers aren’t saints. They’re women trying to keep up with the demands on them.

Just people. The best we have.

Today’s Slice question: What makes/made your mother laugh?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. How fast can you delete email?