The Slice: Time again for kids as culinary consultants

Not sure how to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner?

Don’t worry. Kindergartners at the Pioneer School in Spokane Valley explained it all, step-by-step.

Here are their instructions, as told to teacher Tina Davis.

“First, find a turkey at the farm. Next, pluck the feathers off and cook it in the microwave on high. Then, it will be done in two minutes.” – Nyomi Meinheart

That way it will still be moist, I guess.

“First, drive to the farm and catch a 100 pound turkey. Next, pluck the feathers off and cook it at 50 degrees. Then, put it on a big plate.” – Tyler Vernon

A really big plate.

“First, go to the market and buy a 12 pound turkey. Next, stuff it with bacon and ham. Then, cook it on the oven at 100 degrees for one minute because that will be hot enough.” – Roman Tiemann

If you say so.

“First, catch the turkey with a net. Next, put it in the oven, but take off the feathers first. Then, cook it for one minute.” – Chance Side

I’m a little concerned about these cooking times.

“First, put the turkey in the oven at 30 degrees. Next, cook it for 200 hours. Then, put it on the table to cool off.” – Madison Charbonneau

If memory serves, 200 hours sounds about right.

“First, catch the turkey in the barn. Next, cook it at 78 degrees for seven hours. Then, I will cut it with a sharp knife.” – Owen Reeves

Sounds like a plan.

“First, get the turkey at Costco. Next, put it in the oven. Cook it at 80 degrees for six minutes. Then, put the turkey on the table.” – Kelsey Schuh

Pretty simple.

“First, put the turkey in the oven. Next, bake it at 60 degrees for five minutes. Then, put it on the table to cool.” – Benson Side

No fuss, no bother.

“First, catch the turkey in my backyard. Next, cook it in the oven at 50 degrees for one hour. Then, stuff it with chicken. Finally, eat it with potatoes and apple pie.” – Vivian Edwards

Uh, about that “backyard” part …

“First, drive to Costco and buy a turkey that is not alive. Next, bring it home and cook it in the oven for one minute. Then, dad cuts it into six slices. Finally, we will pluck off the feathers and eat it.” – Mila Bhatti

Maybe leaving the feathers on until the last moment seals in flavor.

Thanks, kids.

Today’s Slice question: Who receives the most catalogs around here?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Most banks are closed this Friday.