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This column reflects the opinion of the writer. To learn about the differences between a news story and an opinion column, click here.

Opinion >  Column

The Slice: Straighten up and fly right

It’s certainly possible that you do not agree.

But it has been suggested a time or two in The Slice that, when at airports in other cities, it’s possible to tell that you have found the gate for the outbound Spokane flight just from looking at the people seated there.

No sign necessary.

Yes, that’s a gross generalization. But perhaps you think there might be a grain of truth there.

So let me ask. When you see air travelers gathered for a flight to Spokane, what does their collective look say to you?

A) Metaphorically at least, they all have their hands on their wallets. B) They look confused. C) They wish their grandchildren lived closer, but the kids are in Spokane so what are you going to do?

D) These are people who would help you up if you fell down. E) Angry voters. F) None of these people ever bother to get a city permit before rewiring.

G) They look like people from anywhere, only more so. H) These people could square dance. I) I’m guessing no one here pre-ordered the vegetarian in-flight meal.

J) I’ll bet these people don’t recline their seat-backs. K) These people could change a flat tire. L) It would be unfair to say they all have ’70s country music hairstyles and are wearing “Husky” fit apparel.

M) Everyone at this gate knows better than to fill up on the bread. N) These people could take a punch. O) If my house was on fire, every one of these people would be willing to run in and rescue my dog.

P) Hearty eaters. Q) Everybody got Zags apparel for Christmas last year. R) I’ll bet I wind up sitting next to someone who didn’t get a flu shot and wants to tell me why.

S) Nobody at this gate looks smug. T) All of these people look like they are related to members of the 1970 Spokane Indians. U) This group would stop a hijacker.

V) These people can tell by the sound when an engine’s not running right. W) These people never have been able to believe how expensive houses are in San Francisco. X) Most of these people have had their names in The Spokesman-Review more than once.

Y) They’re all eager to get home. Z) Other.

Today’s Slice question: What was the Spokane area’s all-time worst job shadow experience?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Feel free to share the story of how you discovered, much to your surprise, that you were on a nude beach.

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