Dear Annie: Having trouble meeting women
Dear Annie: I am 35 years old, live in a large city and am currently single. I am an attorney and work long hours and weekends. My career affords me a nice and stable lifestyle, and I am generally a content person. However, I tend to be shy and socially uncomfortable, and I struggle to meet women. I have had a few girlfriends but never anything serious. These relationships typically end because of limited chemistry, and I tend to have more interest in my career than in seeing these women. I am starting to feel lonely, particularly as many of my friends are married and have families.
I have been set up on blind dates and have tried internet dating sites, but nothing has taken. I’ve tried to meet women at bars or social occasions, but I never have the courage to strike up conversation or to ask for a phone number. I’ve tried to build up liquid courage by drinking more and putting myself out there, but I never seem to find the strength.
I’m at a loss for how to end this feeling of loneliness. I’ve thought about finding a new career, moving to a new city and returning to internet dating, but none of those options is appealing to me. I am happy in my career, enjoy where I live and did not find that internet dating sites helped me meet the right people. I believe I’m a catch and need to know how I can meet my soul mate. – Lonely Lawyer
Dear Lonely Lawyer: Don’t be discouraged. You need to think about casting your fishing line into the right pool. Many people aren’t comfortable in social settings or striking up conversation with strangers. Think about what hobbies you have and clubs that you can join. (The website Meetup is a great resource for this.) When you find yourself with people who have similar interests, it’s much easier to engage with them. It also should alleviate your social anxiety knowing there’s plenty to discuss with your new friends. It’s a big sea with plenty of fish; you just need the right bait.
Dear Annie: My wife has had long beautiful hair since we first started dating. It’s dark, curly and halfway down her back. I could get lost in it. Now she wants to cut it to a shoulder-length do she saw on some actress. I’m devastated.
I’ve asked her (nicely) to please not. She seems annoyed by this – saying that it’s her hair, that she can do what she wants and that she’s made up her mind. I’m not trying to be a controlling jerk, but I feel I should get some say in this. Shouldn’t she care what I find attractive? If she told me she preferred a certain hairstyle on me, I would certainly try to stick to that.
What do you think? Do significant others have a right to weigh in on hairstyles? – Shear Terror
Dear Shear: I think partners should care about being attractive to each other, but I also think you’re overly fearful here. She’s only cutting it to her shoulders. Who knows? The change might spice things up, and you might even end up loving her new look. It is ultimately her decision. You shouldn’t prevent her from experimenting. And just remember: We’re talking about hair here. It grows back.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.