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The Slice: Hey, that sounds like a great idea for a later date
You won’t believe what he had to say.
Slice: Isn’t it a bit early to be saying that? I mean, there’s still a quarter of the year left.
Spokane man: It’s never too early to put something off. I am the emperor of Procrastination Nation.
Slice: Yes, but aren’t people insulted by such an obvious tactic? It’s like that classic cartoon where a guy on the phone is saying “How about never? Is never good for you?”
Spokane man: Insulted? Heavens, no. People love the holidays.
Slice: But doesn’t your attitude undermine productivity and stall social synergy?
Spokane man: Productivity is overrated. And I think you can take a course of antibiotics for most strains of synergy.
Slice: Well, why do you do this? I mean, what’s the point?
Spokane man: The point? My good man, apparently you are under the impression that life is all about making plans, meeting deadlines, getting things done, being responsive and nimble and all that.
Slice: It’s not?
Spokane man: It is not. I cannot tell you how many bad decisions are avoided by putting things off indefinitely.
Slice: So that’s why you propose tackling a project or scheduling a get-together after the holidays?
Spokane man: It is. I’m trying to keep things moving forward, by setting our sights on 2017. It’s going to be a great year.
Slice: But what about 2016? Isn’t there a lot that could be done before the end of this year?
Spokane man: Sure. But we already have enough on our plates. We don’t need to add more meetings, lunches, parties or whatever.
Slice: I can’t help but think you’re like the title character in Melville’s “Bartleby, the Scrivener,” who responds to every request or proposal with “I would prefer not to.”
Spokane man: But you see, eventually that could seem rude or dismissive. And I’m from Spokane. I try not to be rude. Putting something off until after the holidays is always a workable plan. It’s plotting a course to the future.
Slice: But when “after the holidays” actually arrives, what then?
Spokane man: There will plenty of time to worry about that next year.
Today’s Slice question: Who came to your aid when you collapsed in public?
Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Who was the first presidential candidate to get your vote?