DEAR ANNIE: Husband drops bombshell after 60 years

Dear Annie: If anyone could ever die of a broken heart, it would be me at 77. I have been a faithful, loyal wife for 60 years. My husband, whom I’ve always thought was wonderful, and I have always been godly people. We’ve gone to church and helped our neighbors often.

He had chest pains earlier this year, and while in the hospital, he revealed that he’d been having sexual affairs our whole marriage. He said he’d cheated on me with 50 women. I went into shock and ended up in the hospital myself for a week. I am so devastated. I’m sick to my stomach. I am underweight, nervous and heartsick.

He is in a nursing home and says he has done no wrong. He just says, “I am sorry you’re hurting.” I can’t undo any of this. I want to forget, but I don’t know how. What now? How do I go on? – No Name

Dear No Name: Your husband’s revelation was so out of the blue and his callousness so out of character that I’m concerned about the possibility that he’s suffering from cognitive decline and not really aware of what he’s saying. Talk to his health care providers about having him evaluated for dementia. Whatever the case may be, you’re experiencing a tremendous deal of stress. I implore you to seek the help of a licensed therapist. Your physician can refer you to one if you’re not sure where to start. I know you’re hurting, and my heart goes out to you.

Dear Annie: I would highly recommend that you tell “Exhausted by the Guilt Trips” to read the book “Stop Walking on Eggshells,” by Paul Mason. I was in a very similar situation with my husband, and the book changed my life. After I read the book, I found a support group for me, and I learned how to deal with a family member who has a mental illness. Setting boundaries is the key to living a healthy life. – L.N.

Dear L.N.: I couldn’t agree more. Thank you for the book recommendation.