The Slice: Everybody’s heard about the bird

OK, this time I really mean it.

Starting this year, no more November columns full of tips from little kids on how to prepare a Thanksgiving dinner.

Oh sure, The Slice has made noises several times about discontinuing this holiday staple. Tradition is fine. You don’t want to get stuck in a rut though.

Then some grade school teacher would go ahead and send me her students’ culinary tips anyway, and I would relent. Hard to resist recipes that include steps such as “Shave all the feathers off” or “Cook it for 40 minutes.”

But not this year. Time to move on, as someone once said.

No more youthful advice on how to begin. “Go hunting for a turkey and shoot it in the butt or head,” as we were advised by a third-grader named Kody at Moran Prairie Elementary in November of 2005.

No more sage counsel on how to proceed from there. “Take the blood off it,” as we were told by a kid at Willard Elementary in 1997.

Then, after that, I don’t suppose you would need to read about what to do next. “Get some ingredients,” wrote a second-grader named Isaiah at South Pines Elementary in 2010.

And you would not require the young chefs’ help with dessert. “You need a pumpkin,” advised a kindergartener named Kate at the Pioneer School in 2006. “Bake it and cut it. Mix it with milk. Bake it at 11 degrees.”

So OK. Thanks, kids. It has been fun.

Your turkey prep tips such as “Roast its legs off” and “You technically don’t have to put Mexican sauce on it” brightened the season.

The last Halloween: “For 13 Halloween nights, my pet Buddy and I have greeted trick or treaters at our door,” wrote Patty Hostetter. “Tuesday night it was 7:30, and we still had not seen any costumed kids so we went out to the front yard to wait. When we saw six kids heading our way, I called out ‘Where have you been?’

“Buddy, recently blind, wagged his tail as the kids oohed and aaahed over him. He is a lovable West Highland white terrier. Buddy then showed everyone how he could climb up the two steps to the porch. ‘Good job, Buddy!’ someone said.

“Treats were handed out, appreciation was expressed, and, with one last pet to Buddy, the kids headed out into the night.”

His last Halloween now a happy memory, Buddy was put down Thursday morning.

Today’s Slice question: What Thanksgiving host will cheerfully deal with the greatest variety of guests’ dietary restrictions?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Let’s fall back an hour every day.