The Slice: You can’t always believe what you read

Maybe this happens to everybody.

You will misread something and find yourself puzzled by the meaning.

It happens to me all the time. The other day I glanced at an email from a public relations outfit pushing interview opportunities with a guy who has written about coping with holiday stress. I scanned some of his tips and was surprised to see “Stop editing to excess.”

Reasonable advice, but a tad specific, it seemed. I mean, is that something the general public would find useful?

“Honey, I’m freaking out about Thanksgiving.”

“Well, stop editing to excess, for heaven’s sake.”

Then I realized it actually said “Stop eating to excess.”

Oh.

Not long after that, my eye caught a piece of archival newspaper memorabilia near my desk. Stuff from way before my time. For a fraction of a second, I believed I was seeing “The Spokesman-Review – Nobody Else Reads It.”

Huh? What in blazes kind of slogan is that?

Of course, it actually said “Everybody Else Reads It.” (Those were the days, brother.)

But I think if I’m going to have a conversation-starter T-shirt made, I know which way I’ll go on that.

First though, time to schedule an eye exam.

Slice answer: If Dave Wolfe was going to give a band a locally flavored name, it might be Moose and the Four Turkeys.

An SR-tweaking request that falls outside my job description: One came from a gentleman who wrote, “Could you please bring the comments back on the letters section and all other stories.”

I assume he is referring to the online experience. I know what he means. In theory, comments are great feedback. Illuminating and entertaining. In theory.

I won’t rehash the long, sorry history of the newsroom attempting (and utterly failing) to hold anonymous commenters to minimal standards of decency. But I must say, online comments on letters to the editor never seemed right to me. The letter writer signs his or her name. Those wishing to weigh in on or attack his or her position are free to write their own letters. And sign their names.

Admittedly, that’s not instantly gratifying.

Today’s Slice question: Even though the resulting hug huddles created ridiculous foot-traffic congestion near where people emerged shortly after getting off the plane, do you miss being able to greet airport arrivals at their gates?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Lisa Meiners, born and raised in Alaska, wonders how many Slice readers have heard the northern lights.