Dear Annie: Lamenting invitations on social media

Dear Annie: Recently, I missed a large birthday party for a close family member. I was not aware of the party until several weeks later, when other family members asked where I was that day. My answer was that I had not been invited and knew nothing about it. I was then promptly told the invitation had been on Facebook. It is as if I am expected to read Facebook each day instead of the regular mail. I checked my Facebook page and found no such invitation or mention of a party. I really don’t know how to use Facebook, so the invitation might have been somewhere unseen by me even if I logged on regularly.

I have missed several invitations and events because of this. Am I wrong for not checking Facebook for such information? Is this the new norm? If it is, then I suppose we can expect to see obituaries posted on Facebook in the future – and birth announcements and wedding announcements.

What is expected these days? – Home Alone

Dear Home Alone: If friends and loved ones really want you to be at their event and they know you don’t use Facebook, they should reach out to you separately, whether with a phone call, an email or – don’t hold your breath – a good old-fashioned paper invitation. That said, they may not know you don’t use Facebook. You do have an account, after all. One option would be to delete your account so there’s no confusion over whether or not you’re receiving invitations that way. Another option would be a tech solution for this tech problem: If you use a calendar on your computer, tablet or smartphone, you should be able to sync your Facebook account with it so that any events you’re invited to will automatically be added to the calendar. For what it’s worth, I am with you. I don’t think social media should be the hub of our social lives.