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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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News >  Family

Mama Bear Moxie: Just host for once

By Kristina Phelan For The Spokesman-Review

Almost everyone has a super host in their life. The one friend who is always having the play date or inviting you for dinner. The friend who is always laying out the spread for football games or where you go to hang out on the weekends.

I grew up in such a home. We lived far away from family, and my parents did a great job of making connections with friends in our community. There were countless times when we would have friends over to play or invite a family over for dinner on the weekend. My parents are excellent hosts and know how to make their guests feel special and appreciated.

It is no wonder my two sisters and I carry on that tradition. Our lives look different being in different stages of life across three states, but there is one constant that we all have in common: we invite people over all of the time. We have become super hosts.

I thought this was normal for everyone. I didn’t realize growing up in a super host home was something not everyone experienced. I realized this after hosting countless friends over the years who would come to my house, yet we never were invited to their home in return.

But I’ll let you in on a secret. Hosting is tiring.

Other super host friends agree being the go-to house for everything is a drain. Having to clean your house for yet another party and providing all of the extra things like snacks, drinks and toilet paper can get old really fast. You may have a friend who has hosted things for years but has suddenly not invited you over for a while. I can tell you why: they’re tired.

How would you feel if you were always extending an invitation to someone else but never received an invitation in return? Many super hosts feel taken advantage of and long for someone, anyone, to simply invite them over for once. It’s not that we are counting how many times you have come over on some sort of tally sheet, but after a while, you start to realize that it would be nice to go somewhere else for a change.

The same feeling permeates down to the kids. Kids notice when they are always having a friend over but never receive an invitation in return. Feelings of inadequacy are raised as kids don’t understand and think they aren’t liked by the other family or that they did something wrong.

Many people who haven’t hosted think that their home is too small. They think it isn’t as put together as the super host in their life. They think no one would possibly want to hang out at their house.

Come on, stop making excuses for yourself.

There was a time in my life my home was tiny. I had a big backyard and about 500 square feet of indoor space for a party, but it didn’t stop me from inviting friends. I just had to limit the amount of people that could be in my home at one time. Hosting doesn’t have to be some elaborate party that costs a lot of money. Having a playdate with a box of graham crackers is enough to invite someone over. Consider adding more water to the soup and having a family over to enjoy dinner together and play a board game.

I would venture to guess you will be amazed at how quickly the super host in your life agrees to come over to your house if you would just invite them. Make a conscious effort to invite others to your home to at least give the super host in your life a much needed break.

Please, just host for once!

Contact Kristina Phelan through her website, www.mamabearmoxie. com.

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