Miss Manners: Company’s ghosting puts off potential employee

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a text from an individual stating they had an opening with a certain company and would like to know if I was interested. When I asked what hours they were looking for, they responded fairly quickly.

But when I asked a couple of follow-up questions, one of which being could they match or exceed the pay of my current employer, I heard nothing. I assumed they were no longer interested.

The next day, I sent them a text stating that, while I wasn’t so much upset over not being offered a job, I would have appreciated it if they would have just said so. They replied an hour or two later that they were out of the office and unable to reply. My response was that it was rude to leave in the middle of a conversation, regardless of whether in-person or by text, and that at the very least, if they had to go, they should have warned me by saying so.

I no longer have any interest in working for this company. Am I wrong to expect a semi-quick response? Even when I’m busy, at work or otherwise (when I’m driving, I have an app that does it for me automatically), I’m always quick to respond to messages with a “Can’t talk now, I’ll let you know when I can.”

GENTLE READER: There is no etiquette rule requiring the recipient of a text to drop everything and respond instantly. But once having begun such a conversation, Miss Manners agrees that one should not leave without explanation.

Given the number of acronyms and misspellings in fashion among texters, she hopes they will have no trouble assimilating SSGG (”So sorry, gotta go”), IHM (”I hear (my) mother (calling)”) and RHOF (”Running: house on fire”).

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As we were entering the vestibule of the church for my father’s funeral, my neighbor was there, passing out stapled, typewritten sheaves of papers. He handed one to my elderly mom, just widowed.

I gently took it from her, seeing her bewildered look. After settling her in the pew, I saw that it was a story on the untimely death of his son in high school from a head injury during football, over 30 years ago.

I was flabbergasted. My folks did not even know this couple or their son, and my neighbor was trying to upstage my father’s death and my family’s grief with his own story of struggling with his son’s death. What should I have done or said to politely stop him from badgering the funeral guests with his misguided handouts?

GENTLE READER: It is just possible that the neighbor was oblivious to the circumstances, or to how his actions would be interpreted. But irrespective of whether his callousness was intentional, Miss Manners’ goal would be to get him out of the way as quickly, and with as little discussion, as possible.

The person to tell him “This is a funeral; we would appreciate it if you would go somewhere else and let these mourners grieve,” is neither your mother nor yourself, but someone less bereaved, who can take a stern tone without feeling (much less displaying) anger. The clergyman or someone from the church would be ideal, but a physically impressive, older friend or relative would do.