Dear Annie: We are a group of senior citizens who get together once in a while. We invited a few couples over to our house for dinner. One of the couples just asked if they could bring their neighbors. We have NEVER asked if we can bring our neighbors to one of their events. We feel the request is inappropriate. How do we politely decline? – Puzzled
Dear Puzzled: To have brought their neighbors without asking would have been inappropriate, but I don’t think it’s rude for them to have simply asked. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt: Perhaps their neighbors are lonely and have been trying to make more friends. That doesn’t mean you have to agree to let them come over; I’m just sharing that to try to offer some understanding. In any case, all you have to say is, “We’d like to keep it to just us, but we appreciate your asking.”
Dear Annie: You answer a lot of questions about infidelity, jealousy and therapy. This is a different way to look at it: Sex is 80 percent fantasy and 20 percent physical. The physical part is the same whoever your partner is. It’s the fantasy part that creates the excitement. That’s how they sell magazines and love stories. No one buys Playboy for the news articles.
Remember the excitement and fantasy of your honeymoon? It might have gotten a little routine and unexciting over the years. The key is to recreate the fantasies for your partner. Then you can make love to anyone in the world and never leave home. Just have fun. It’s cheaper than therapy, and it stops the arguing and complaining about each other. – Happy
Dear Happy: Thank you for your amusing and insightful letter. I love the idea of looking at what you can create with your partner and having happiness and excitement as goals.
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