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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Dear Annie: Ski ya later!

By Annie Lane Creators Syndicate

Dear Annie: My group of girlfriends is planning our annual ski trip for February. We all stay at a resort. There are six of us that go every year. Last year, my cousin, “Sasha” (who is part of this crew of girlfriends), invited her friend “Rachel.” Rachel just did not mesh with the rest of the group. It felt stilted and awkward the whole time. She’s cold and doesn’t have much of a sense of humor – one of those people who just sucks the life out of the room when she walks in. She barely skied last year and ended up spraining her wrist when she did, so I’m surprised she wants to come back.

You can probably guess where this is going: Sasha wants to invite Rachel again this year, and the rest of us would rather she not come. We haven’t voiced any of this to Sasha yet because we don’t want to hurt her feelings. How should we handle this? – Bummed Skier

Dear Bummed: Don’t ice Rachel out so quickly. Rather than telling Sasha that Rachel can’t come, ask how Rachel is doing. Express surprise that she wants to join this year, because you weren’t sure she enjoyed the last trip. Start a dialogue rather than issuing a decree. Who knows – maybe Rachel used to be the life of the party but is dealing with personal issues that make her a little less fun to be around, and the vacation would be really good for her. Or maybe what you’ve taken as coldness is actually shyness. Or maybe she really is a sourpuss. Whatever the case, the bottom line is that your cousin is paying as much for this trip as the rest of you, and if she would like to invite her friend, she can. Try to keep an open mind, and be willing to be surprised.

Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.