Front Porch: Memory is slipping up with time

Being at the very front end of the Baby Boomer parade, I am finding issues with memory more relevant in my life. And in that of my friends.

We are all marching on. Some of us have entirely forgotten just where it is we’re going (and are now, sadly, in or facing memory care situations), while the rest of us are just encountering some stumbles along the path. For example, I am much more conscious of working memory matters than ever before.

Working memory, simply put, is dealing with the immediate or temporary processing of information while other information is being presented. Take, for example, hearing and then remembering the name of your server at a restaurant while that person is listing the day’s soup selections and lunch specials. Or listening to plot points in a story while trying to discern what the story means.

I am much more aware now that increasingly I will not remember the server’s name for more than 20 seconds or so. This is not hampering my life, but as I think about it, I’m not sure I was ever any good at retaining this information. Same for faces. If the server generally resembles other servers in the restaurant, I’ll not be able to flag down the correct person, as they all appear to be the correct person. It’s pretty much always been that way, only a bit worse now that I’m gray-haired.

One of my sons is terrible with names and always has been. This is particularly a problem for him early in a new dating situation. He has mentioned there have been times when he called out the wrong name at an inopportune time, and there were consequences.

Clearly, memory issues aren’t always age-related. But even so, I am increasingly aware that memory deficit concerns increase as I’m getting older because I am understanding and seeing around me that they are not all just little cute and quirky things, but can be rather something more. And I get it that there are things we can all do to help ourselves … if we’re not in denial, of course.

I’ve started making my own moves on the encroaching Memory Monster.

I play Words with Friends online with a good friend in California. She’s a smart and strategic player, so besides being fun, it’s always a challenge. I make up mnemonics to help me remember things when pen and paper aren’t handy. If I’m driving home and decide to detour to the grocery store, I take the first letters of each item I know I need and create in my head a word or phrase out of them that I will be able to retain, which will bring forth the needed words when I get to the store. For example, if I want to buy bread, apples, Fritos and rice, the list in my head becomes BARF … and, ta dah, I’m able to remember the items.

Plus there are Post-It notes all over my computer, desk and office wall, and a magnetic dry-erase board on the refrigerator. I’ll take all the self-help I can get.

I’ve begun doing the newspaper’s crossword puzzle every day and sometimes the Jumble and other brain teasers (depending on how much time is available in the morning). And I’ve again begun exercising regularly, something which I’m spectacularly bad at maintaining over time. I do find the physical movement not only good for my weak muscles, it is somehow brain-stimulating as well. I’ve read that this is so, and, much to my happy surprise, it actually is.

Maybe it’s just that I’m doing something, anything, but I really do feel sharper and more alert. Not sure that I’ve gained any IQ points, but I like to think I haven’t lost any either.

I am clearly not the person to go to for advice on this, but I do know that there are a host of little and big things we can all do to help our aging brains, from good food choices to playing checkers or cards. And, of course, if there are rising concerns about the progression of memory matters, a timely visit with a doctor is in order, too.

I once asked my physician how to tell when something is significant or just a fairly benign aspect of getting older. She told me, generally speaking, everyone sometimes forgets where they put their car keys. Not really a problem. But when you find your keys, if you don’t know what they’re for or what you do with them, that’s probably a problem.

And most of us will leave home and sometimes turn left, heading for the gas station, when we meant to turn right to go to the post office. We can just be distracted. But if we find ourselves in a wheat field with the engine running and have no idea how we got there … well, that’s a pretty clear indication that a hand of pinochle isn’t the right solution.

The thing is, I really do think many of us know when a memory problem is getting to be something more serious. We can’t hold back the effects of time. We can’t prevent dementia or Alzheimer’s, if they’re in the cards for us. But there are things that can help us hold on to our functioning brains as long as possible.

As for me, I’m incorporating as many of them into my life as I reasonably can. Seems to me that’s the smart thing to do. My brain still knows that.