Miss Manners 10/12
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve made many friends throughout the world on social media, and as we approach the upcoming national election, they have overloaded me with information criticizing the political administration of this country – strenuously advising me on how to vote to change it.
They send me articles detailing one political situation after another, as if I were totally unaware of what is happening here. And it is always with a distinct point of view.
Mostly, I agree with what they’re saying, except they tend to stereotype Americans as people who need to be educated against making bad choices – implying that I am in that group, as well.
How do I thank my international friends for their opinions, yet politely discourage any further advice? By the way, I offer no recommendations on how they should fix their own countries.
GENTLE READER: That is because it is so much easier to fix other people’s problems than one’s own. Here is the response Miss Manners recommends:
“I am pleased at your interest in the American political situation. And while you seem to be on the right track, I’m sure you appreciate the complications with which even we, who follow this minutely, must struggle.” And then suggest two or three serious books on the subject.
Thereafter, asking what they thought of the books will get them off the subject, because they will not have read them. Or if they have, you might be able to have more intelligent exchanges.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it necessary to cover your mouth with your hand while yawning if you’re wearing a face mask?
GENTLE READER: Not if you yawn quietly.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Several years ago, I became friends with a lovely person who knocked on my door as part of her ministry. I, myself, subscribe to a different religion, and my husband of 33 years is agnostic. Here’s the rub:
My friend called me yesterday, claiming that her good friend lost a pet, and was inconsolable. She knows I do talk therapy for people who don’t have resources for grieving a pet, so I called the third party.
Imagine my surprise when I was given a lecture about having to give up my beliefs in order to avoid hellfire. By the way, I’m not a Satanist. I’m a Catholic.
Is there a reasonable way to nip this issue in the bud? I have no problem with what others believe; more power to them. But I don’t enjoy strangers showing up at my door, unannounced, with pamphlets.
I’m probably overreacting, but it was therapeutic to write this out, at least.
GENTLE READER: Please assure Miss Manners that your friend is not promoting religion by lying to trap you with another proselytizer. Surely there was a miscommunication involved.
After all, your friendship apparently began by just such an approach. So you will have to explain to your friend that despite the good fortune of having met her through her unsolicited mission, you are not willing to admit others on such a basis. And then you may ask how the bereaved owner of a deceased pet managed to think otherwise.
Send your questions to Miss Manners at her website missmanners.com