Dear Annie 5/15
Dear Annie: My father-in-law died unexpectedly a few years ago. Since then, my brother-in-law’s family has put my meek mother-in-law in an uncomfortable predicament. These nieces and nephews who all live out of town seem to think it’s OK to bring their dogs every time they visit. Some have more than one. When they are all there at once, it’s really a dog zoo. For the past year, my husband and I have had the excuse of COVID-19 to avoid these gatherings. Frankly, we can’t stand all the dogs. More important than our feelings, though, my mother-in-law does not want them bringing their dogs. She is too sweet to say anything, for fear they won’t visit. My nieces and nephews are grown adults, they all make very good money and could afford to kennel these pets. Should we tell them how much this upsets her? She is constantly having to steam clean her rugs because of this and other unnecessary chores. – Do We Tell in Wisconsin
Dear Do We Tell: You can try speaking up for your mother-in-law – but if she’s that squeamish about confrontation, she’ll probably insist that the dogs are fine with her. Then you’ll have awkwardly inserted yourself into the situation for no reason. Encourage her instead to stand up for herself. It sounds like she’s afraid of being lonely, so remind her how much you and your spouse love and support her. And pay her some visits when your nieces, nephews and the rest of the pack aren’t around.
Dear Annie: All of us have been dealing with the pandemic in different ways. What I find mind-boggling is the judgment, hysteria and smugness so many have displayed. Do your thing, and accept that others will do it theirs differently. As I told one hypercritical friend, “If you don’t want to contract the virus, stay home!” Respect, common sense and consideration go a long, long way. And oh, by the way, leave double standards out of it as well. – Tired of the Nonsense
Dear Tired: I hear you loud and clear. Lately, I’ve been trying my best not to judge others for anything – not even for being judgmental. It’s a challenge that I’ve mostly failed. But I’m going to keep trying.
I hope we can leave some of these hard feelings behind along with the pandemic.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.