The Full Suburban: This blended family is my home

When I was 13 years old, my dad passed away from brain cancer, leaving my mom a widow at age 42 with three kids. I didn’t realize just how young that was until I turned 42 myself. I mean, for heaven’s sake, she still had decades ahead of her and children to raise. It stood to reason she would at some point start dating and – gasp – even marry again.

But as a teenager, I wasn’t having it. Up to that point, the only guidance I’d received on how you were supposed to act toward the person your parent was dating was from the 1961 movie “The Parent Trap.” You’ll recall that the twins in that movie aren’t exactly fans of the woman their father is dating (with good reason – she’s terrible).

So, they take her on a camping trip and concoct all sorts of merciless pranks to drive her away, like tricking her into falling into the lake and smearing honey all over her tent to attract curious bear cubs. She was dating their dad, and their job was to act like little monsters so she would leave as quickly as possible. Note taken.

When my mom started dating a couple years after my dad died, I took a page from the twins’ playbook. When the prospective date would ring the doorbell to pick up my mom, I would open the door and give a curt “hello” before rolling my eyes and walking away.

If he and my mom were chatting in the living room, I would sulk on the other end of the couch and glare at them in the surliest manner possible. I’m sure I was a real joy to have around, but I figured that acting like a brat was my right and duty. If I didn’t scare away the hapless jerks who were trying to steal away my mom, who would?

Luckily, I’d grown up a little – and actually wasn’t even living in the same town – when my mom started dating an acquaintance named Denny. They had known each other in passing for years but were both happily married that whole time. My dad had been gone for seven years when Denny’s wife suddenly passed away, leaving him and his two grown children devastated.

Eventually, Denny asked my mom out on a date. And because I wasn’t around, I wasn’t able to give him the “Parent Trap” treatment, which could be why he eventually found the courage to ask my mom to marry him.

This was a big step for my mom, who, after being widowed for eight years by that point, had adopted the mantra, “It takes a heck of a man to beat no man at all.” It was over a fancy dinner at Clinkerdagger that she finally gave him her answer that yes, she would marry him. That was more than 20 years ago.

Since then, they have traveled all over the country, served as humanitarian missionaries in Romania, supported each other through surgeries and illness and welcomed 21 grandchildren into their blended family. Because Logan’s father also passed away before any of our children were born, Papa Denny is the only grandfather our kids have ever known. And he’s a great one.

Along with a new father figure, my mom’s marriage to Denny also brought into my life two step-siblings, Drew and Holly, along with their spouses and children. At first, I was tempted to again draw on my knowledge from the Disney franchise regarding what step-siblings should be like: annoying at best, wicked at worst.

But my relationship with Drew, Holly and their families has been the exact opposite. They are wonderful people, every last one, and rubbing shoulders with them for the past 20 years has been an incredibly enriching part of my life.

Holly’s home is just minutes away from mine, so we get to interact often. We are less than two weeks apart in age, yet she is the woman I aspire to be when I grow up. She knows how to get things done, and she has a gadget or decoration for every occasion. Do you need a disco ball, a machine that spiralizes carrots or a life-size talking replica of Santa Claus? Call Holly.

On Thursday, this blended family of mine will sit down together to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. The cousins will laugh over funny YouTube videos and shared inside jokes, and the adults will discuss kids, upcoming plans and everything in between. It will feel like home, and it will feel like family – because that’s exactly what it is.

Julia Ditto shares her life with her husband, six children and a random menagerie of farm animals in Spokane Valley. She can be reached at dittojulia@gmail.com.