Dear Kiantha: Grief too shall pass; just be patient

Dear Kiantha,

My mother and father both passed away in the month of December. Although it has been several years, it seems this year’s grief has surpassed years past. The depression I am feeling makes it hard for me to see a hopeful New Year ahead.

Dear Friend,

I hope that you are giving yourself permission to process everything that you are feeling during this time of year. Let’s focus on this year before we add the unrequited pressure of the new year.

Grief is one of the most ambivalent emotions we experience as human beings. There is no rhyme or reason to it. There is no timetable that offers a dependable calculation on the amount of time it will last. It makes no sense at all.

The additional complication is that grief can be cyclical. Some years the pain of loss and/or trauma rains down on us like a fall day in the Pacific Northwest, drowning us in our own sorrow. Sounds like you are experiencing a bit of a drowning and we have all been there. You are not alone.

The thing that allows me to be hopeful for you is that I have seen over and over how light infiltrates darkness. I have seen a heart of sorrow transform into a heart of gratitude.

I have seen desolate situations become the very foundation for success. I have seen depression loosen its hold swiftly and without warning.

I want you to be in this moment understanding that this too shall pass. Will you consider waiting patiently for it to do so?

As for feeling hopeful about the new year, 2023 will bring with it its own hope, just as it will bring with it its own sorrows, and we will manage it as it comes.

Soul to Soul - Kiantha