Dear Kiantha: After losing pet, grief will take as long as heart needs

Dear Kiantha,

Recently my family and I had to make a decision that broke my heart into pieces. My sweet dog of 16 years no longer had the same quality of life, so in his best interest, and with the help of our longtime veterinarian, we decided to not prolong his suffering by putting him down. He was so loyal and loving to our family. How long will my heart grieve this loss? My family and I are really taking this hard.

Dear Friend,

You can expect that your grief will last as long as your heart needs to grieve, and not a moment less.

A loss of any kind sends our bodies into stress mode and our natural trauma responses kick in. Sometimes the intensity of these feelings is unexplainable and seems to last much longer than we expect. There is no time frame too long to grieve such a big part of your life and heart.

Here is what I want you to consider as you grieve. You and your family meant the world to your sweet pup. How do I know this, you ask? I’ll tell you: For 16 years, you and your family were consistent, stable and loving. Every day you greeted your sweet boy with a rub or cuddles that created for him a life of safety and belonging.

For 16 years, you provided your boy food to nourish his body and a place to belong. Your family became his family.

Each day of your boy’s 16-year life, he depended on you all to spend time with him, to bring him comfort and to love him unconditionally.

You and your family provided as much for him as he did for you. The immense comfort he had to feel knowing that he had your family, who cared for him when he was not well, took him on special car trips and every so often even gave him special treats, did not go unnoticed.

There is a quote from English poet Tennyson that says, “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” This applies to you and your family during this time of grief. You had 16 amazing years with each other, and your time together can never be forgotten.

Take the time you need and, if it fits with your life, consider loving again. The bond between a pet and its family is a beautiful gift to you both.

Soul to soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To read this column in Spanish, visit www.spokesman.com. To submit a question, please email DearKiantha@gmail.com.