Dear Kiantha: Stand tall in your Blackness; one day our society will accept it

Dear Kiantha,

I’m a 6-foot-4, 230-pound Black man. The other day I was walking out of a grocery store, and as I made my way to my car, there were a few parked cars where the (white) drivers were in their vehicles.

As I walked past the cars, I heard the clicking sounds of their doors being locked. Incidents like this his happen all the time.

Recently I graduated with my master’s degree in accounting, yet I feel like my accomplishments are overshadowed because when white people look at me all they see is a big threatening Black man. I am a lot of things, but threatening is not one.

Dear Black Man,

In 1985, Steven Spielberg brought to screen one of my favorite movies, “The Color Purple,” an adaptation of Alice Walker’s novel.

The film tells the story of the life of Southern Black women in the years 1909 through 1949.

There is a scene in the movie where Mrs. Sophia, a domestic servant and driver for a white woman (Mrs. Mille) drives the woman to the general store. Mrs. Sophia parks the car and goes inside to do the shopping.

Mrs. Millie, an inexperienced driver, decides to practice her driving while Sophia shops. Mrs. Millie struggles to put the car in gear and screams in distress for help. Several Black gentlemen hanging about the area see her struggling and immediately try to catch up to the car to help. Based on Mrs. Millie’s bias of Black men, she saw them as a threat to her safety. She then yelled, “Help, I’ve always been good to you people!” as she is trying to get away from them.

Mrs. Millie’s internalized fear of Black men would not allow her to see that they were harmless and wanting to assist her. Instead, her instinct was to fear for her safety.

In a world where people are afraid of one another based on stereotypes and unconscious/conscious bias, we have a long way to go, although I am certain we will get to a place where Black men can be seen for more than the color of their skin or size, and instead, as the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. suggests, for the content of their character.

Continue to stand tall in the fullness of your 6-4, 230-pound body. You are beautiful, and the day when Black men are not feared will come.

Soul to Soul,

Kiantha

Dear Kiantha can be read every other Friday. To read the column in Spanish, visit spokesman.com. To submit your questions, please email DearKiantha@gmail.com.