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Opinion >  Column

Dear Kiantha: Even after death, friend’s love lives on

March 16, 2023 Updated Thu., March 16, 2023 at 10:13 p.m.


Dear Kiantha,

My best friend died a few days ago. We knew everything about each other and now I feel like my person is gone. She is gone forever.

Dear Friend,

Funny how certain words give us certain feelings or memories. When I read your note, the first thing that came to mind for me was the lyrics of the theme song for the ’80s hit television series “The Golden Girls.”

“Thank you for being a friend. Traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true, you’re a pal and a confidant. If you threw a party, and invited everyone you knew, you would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, ‘Thank you for being a friend.’ ”

I imagine your best friend and you sharing that kind of bond with one another. I would be inclined to believed that the two of you have traveled some roads together that only the two of you know about. That is one of the beautiful things about finding your person. You meet your traveling partner. The person who walks with you, alongside you and sometimes who carries you through the tough moments in life.

I recently lost a friend in a tragic accident. Although it has been six months since her death, each day I become more and more aware of the ways in which she is no longer here with me. Many of the most critical decisions in my life over the past seven years were processed with her. My friend’s death has left a hole in my heart bigger than I can describe. You, too, will have days like that ahead. However, there are multiple silver linings.

The first being that neither death nor life separates us from the spirits of those we love. Your best friend is always there with you; you will see and feel her presence in every place you look for her. When you allow your mind to calm down, you will hear her voice. I believe that those who pass on leave us their voice as a gift.

The other gift that is even more valuable is the gift of having had the deep love of a friend, a true friend. A love that supersedes space and time. When you are missing your friend, remember the sound of her laughter, the uniqueness of her smile and the warmth of her embrace. All of which are gifts to you as you continue the journey.

Soul to soul,


Dear Kiantha can be read Fridays in The Spokesman-Review. To submit a question, email

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