Book review: Sonora Jha’s ‘Intemperance’ challenges cultural perceptions of age, gender and sex

It’s about time a novel tackled the challenges that intersect aging and desire. Old people having sex has long been a taboo subject in a culture that masquerades aging as an undesirable fate. We need concealer and anti-wrinkles cream to hide the battle scars of a well-lived life.

I mean, what will people say?

Author Sonora Jha answers that question within the first three dozen pages of her novel “Intemperance”:

“It has always struck me that the people who lead their lives in response to the protective shame offered readily by their communities under the pall of What will people say? have always known exactly what people would say. The question for our lives should be What say do people have? But I digress.”

When Jha digresses, “Intemperance” glistens.

The story follows the first-person narrative of a feminist scholar, twice divorced, who has settled into a comfortable life with her dog on a houseboat in Seattle. She comes to the realization that what her life lacks is a male companion capable of filling the empty spaces.

The importance of this book is that it comes at a time when feminism and masculinity are being poised as oppositions in popular culture. “Intemperance” recalls a time in the not-so-distant past where both could find joy and happiness in each other’s company.

The professor of this story is of South Asian descent and decides that she will celebrate her upcoming birthday with a swayamvar. That is a fable of Hindi folklore where a princess or a goddess would choose her mate following a competition – an Olympics for love.

What could it hurt, right, for a 50-something-year-old woman to hold one of these in 21st century Seattle?

The social media reaction alone is incredible. Feminists are outraged; the manosphere is enraged; stress is induced; online threats ensue.

Friends and family are either encouraging or concerned. A distant cousin writes a letter, informing his relative that she is the victim of a family curse, brought on by caste mixing and gay love. He also offers to help her move back to India, where he will take care of her needs. Not to worry, his wife is totally OK with this. As if.

I even learned a new word, “gymcel,” which is an incel who works out in the gym.

But this novel is less about the actual swayamvar and more about one woman’s self-discovery amid a culture of toxic masculinity. Jha’s professor grew up surrounded by abuse at the hands of men, leading her to escape to America and follow her studies.

When we meet the professor, she is questioning everything.

Is masculinity toxic by nature? Is misogyny the order of the day? Or is feminism just “well-disguised misandry,” a question Jha’s main character finds herself confronted with as her story develops.

“When you have built a brilliant career out of anger, where do you go with the anger is gone?” Jha’s character asks at one point. “And when you have spent decades studying masculinity, you can’t help but fall in love with men a little.”

These are themes that need exploring right now, and Jha, a professor in real life at Seattle University whose previous books include “How to Raise a Feminist Son” does just that through the introspection of her character.

Jha’s character looks inward to find the answers, about what loneliness means, the feeling of invisibility of an aging woman in current society. We learn highly personal introspections, such as how she smells when she does not shower (answer: molasses and warm butter). We learn about her past when she has used homemade Indian kohl, an eyeliner with some hallucinogenic effects sending her into dreamlike states and exposing past family traumas.

She walks with a cane and a limp, a surviving mark of her childhood polio, which sometimes draws men’s attention to a withering leg and away from her smiling eyes.

We know everything about her, except her name.

The main plot device is the character trying to decide what feat her suitors would carry out to win her affection. I find myself rooting for something like who gives the best foot massage. But she keeps the reader guessing on her ultimate decision.

Between the pages is an important discussion of age, gender, sex and culture that we all need to be having right now.

Because on these subjects, we need to understand each other. We all need to be on the same side.

With “Intemperance,” Jha has written an outstanding conversation starter.

At the least, I’m reminded to keep looking into a woman’s eyes.