Group gives LGBTQ+ seniors a place to socialize and find support

When Al Stuart and his husband, Raymond, moved from California to Spokane, they looked for a group where they could forge new friendships within their age range.

The couple has been together for 41 years and married for 17.

“There weren’t any people our age in PFLAG,” Al Stuart explained, “We were looking for a social group, not looking to advocate.”

He reached out to the Unitarian Universalist Church of Spokane and was put in contact with Nancy Avery, Pride Team coordinator at the church.

“I asked her if there was a gay senior group,” he said.

There wasn’t.

So Avery, a straight mom of a gay daughter, and Stuart decided to create one.

Formed in 2018, LGBTQ+ Seniors of the Inland Northwest is a member-driven, supportive and affirming network for older LGBTQ+ people and their families. Although the group is geared toward seniors, there’s no age requirement to join.

“Whoever needs the group is welcome,” Avery said.

Christine Lette is an original member.

“I saw in the newspaper that a group for queer seniors was starting,” she said. “At the first meeting, for the first time, I stood up in a group and identified as a trans woman.”

Lette said it was scary, but she found she wasn’t alone.

“I’m the third person over 70 to transition in our group,” she said. “I get support from queer people like myself.”

LGBTQ+ seniors have traveled a much different path than their younger counterparts.

“In 1955, when I first felt like I wanted to be a girl, there was no language to express it – to say who I was,” Lette said.

Dave Vogel recalled being classified as 4-F by the military during the Vietnam War because he was gay.

“We have decades of shared experience,” he said of the group.

Avery said LGBTQ+ Seniors of the Inland Northwest weathered COVID by launching Friday afternoon Zoom meetings. The virtual meetings continue to draw attendees and usually feature guest speakers.

In addition, they gather at local restaurants for monthly Taco Tuesday meals, monthly Lunch OUT on the Town and potlucks at the Unitarian Universalist Church.

Hannah Dahlke plans the restaurant outings. She joined seven years ago.

“I wanted more activities with people my age,” she said. “As we get older, we should give ourselves permission to be who we really are.”

The friendships she’s made keep her involved.

“There’s not a bad heart in the bunch,” Dahlke said. “We accept each other exactly where we’re at.”

Newcomer Jeffrey Kuball found the group when he moved to Spokane from Anchorage.

“I’m an introvert,” he said. “With these people, I don’t feel so lonely.”

That resonated with Doug Kim-Brown.

“It’s eye-opening to see the sense of isolation many in the Spokane senior queer community experience,” he said.

The North Idaho resident was one of the founding members of the group and publishes its monthly newsletter.

“For anyone who identifies as LGBTQ+, there’s room for you,” Kim-Brown said. “We’re not the antidote for loneliness, but we’re a part of it. You don’t have to be isolated.”

For more information visit lgbtqseniorsoftheinlandnorthwest.com or email admin@LGBTQseniorsoftheinlandnorthwest.com.