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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper

The Spokesman-Review Newspaper The Spokesman-Review

Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883
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Attempt To Obtain Elway Autograph Falls Incomplete

Pauline Anderson doesn't follow football - though Seattle Seahawks quarterback John Friesz once worked as a dishwasher for her at Franklin's Hoagies. Pauline wouldn't know buck-toothed John Elway from Mr. Ed, the talking bronco. Still, while dining at The Cedars recently, she got excited when a friend whispered, "You'll never guess who's here - John Elway!" (As she related the tale, Pauline asked, "Is it Elway or Elwood?"). Instantly, Pauline wanted a famous person's autograph for her restaurant wall. So, she went over "to the guy in the purple shirt" and asked for his autograph. He was pleased to oblige, but there was a problem. He wasn't Elway. The Denver QB was sitting at the next table, also wearing a purple shirt. A lighter shade than Pauline's face.

Translation To English ‘Glonous’

Dick Wandrocke, mayor emeritus of Fightin' Creek, sends along his endorsement of Mad Mary's, the new Thai restaurant on Sherman Ave. And this observation: The package containing Dick's Chinese-made chopsticks had instructions that included these nouns and adjectives: "glonous" (glorious?), "cultual" (cultural?), "thurnb" (thumb?), "chcostick" (chopsticks?) and "tirst" (first?). Writes Dick philosophically: "Oh well, I'm sure that I would not do as well if I had to attempt to translate from English into Chinese." Wrong number: Hmmm. Indeed, Hagadone Directories had the wrong listing in its white pages for the Post Falls Planning Department. But, believe it or not, the fault belongs to GTE. GTE is required by law to provide white-page info to its North Idaho competitor and does so - for a cool $25,000 annually.... How the Other Half Lives: A pair were admiring a $1.5 million Glen Garry Estate home recently - particularly the workout room with a hot tub facing the Highlands Golf Course - when a subcontractor waltzed in. "Gee," said he, "I hate working on these HUD homes." ... Overheard at Silverwood, a tot who refused to return a smile to two passing women: "I'd smile back, but I didn't brush my teeth this morning. And my mommy told me not to." Smile? Or talk to strangers?

Politicians Are Preservationists About Their Jobs

A Huckleberry Past caused CdA Councilman Mike McDowell to see red. You know, the one that painted Mike as less than environmentally minded. At first, I couldn't figure out why he was upset. No one on the CdA council would be mistaken for an Earth Firster. Then, I realized that Mike's facing re-election. 'Tis the season that local pols grow a green thumb to prove their environmental moderation. Some even talk about "quality of life" and attend Kootenai Environmental Alliance luncheons. Hypocrisy? Maybe. But the tactic works. Ask Kootenai County Commissioner Bob Macdonald. In this year of environmental backlash, however, I didn't think it was necessary.

Crowd Gives Movie Critics The Thumb

A couple from Bellevue, Wash., made quite an impression at a Sandpoint movie theater over the Fourth - all bad. Apparently, inclement weather drove the two indoors, and they weren't any happier when "Apollo 13" was sold out. Then, they exploded like bottle rockets when several minutes were missing from the latest "Die Hard" incarnation. (Hey, if you've seen one Bruce Willis' smirk, you've seen them all.) The manager gave them a free pass, but eventually told them to leave when they continued to gripe. As did theatergoers. Viewers bellied up to the snack bar and began chanting for the obnoxious duo to get lost. Some customers followed the piqued pair to their car to make sure they had the right directions out of Dodge. Now, that's going the extra mile. Oopsies: Apparently, the photo published in Travel Holiday's summer issue of "North Idaho's lake country" shows the Vista House, 30 miles east of Portland, on the Oregon side of the Columbia River. Not the Maryhill Museum of Art, near Goldendale, Wash. (as reported in Huckleberries Past). Either way, it still was the wrong photo to illustrate S-R colleague Doug Clark's travel piece on North Idaho. And the photograph also was printed backward, making it difficult to tell which side of the river was pictured.

N.Y. Journal Can’t Tell Lake From A River

Hmmm. S-R colleague Doug Clark nicely talked up the Hagadone Hotel, Hudson's Hamburgers and North Idaho's "vacationers' bonanza" in Travel Holiday's summer issue. But (heh, heh, heh) there was one small problem with the magazine spread. The main photo. You know, the one published above this cutline: "North Idaho's lake country remains relatively untouched by the tourist boom in Coeur d'Alene." CdA's tourist boom would have to reach all the way to the Columbia River in south-central Washington to touch that idyllic "lake" setting. Shown in the foreground is the Maryhill Museum of Art, 15 miles south of Goldendale, Wash. I can't repeat what the New York editor said when he learned his factfinder had goofed. But Clark groused, "It was a mess, but the check cleared." Separated at birth? Kootenai County Assessor Tom Moore doesn't look like British secret agent James Bond. But that didn't stop a KXLY-TV reporter from referring to him recently on the 5 o'clock news as "Roger" Moore. Onward. ... Tax activist Ron Rankin spotted ex-legislator Freeman Duncan waiting in a long line Monday to complain about his new property value. Freeman and Rankin's wife, Alice, waged a bitter campaign against each other a few years ago. Alice bugged Freeman then by characterizing him as a legislator "who never met a tax he didn't like." Chortled her hubby after last week's chance encounter: "I see he's got religion." Marshall mend incognito? Sandpoint City Clerk Helen Newton tells of seeing "Batman Forever" with grandson Jordan. When Jim Carrey first appeared on screen as "The Riddler," Jordan whispered, "Grandma, that's The Realtor." Carrey wasn't even wearing white shoes. ... Jim Ratliff Jr. of Mica Flats hated to see the baseball strike end. You see, he distributes videos. During the strike, Jim did land-office business with baseball flicks, like "A League of Their Own," "Major League" and "The Babe." If pro basketball strikes, too, Jim will have to stock up on "White Men Can't Jump" until Warner Bros. produces "Space Jam," Michael Jordan's galactic encounter with Looney Tunes.

Neither Snow, Hail Nor Bad Address Can Stop This Mail

In "Huckleberries" past, you learned of "Gringo (Mike) Green" in Central America sending a letter to our CdA office "near Paul Bunyan's." Maybe Mike got the idea from a 1979 whitewater raft trip down the Salmon River. In the wilderness above Riggins, Mike's party stopped to visit legendary Buckskin Bill. The latter-day mountain man had arrived in Salmon River country during the Depression and survived by growing food and making guns, clothing and tools. During the visit, Mike noticed a letter, addressed simply: "Buckskin Bill, Somewhere on the Salmon River, Somewhere North of Boise, Idaho."

Good Guys Sprouting In Lake City

Seems like only yesterday Seth Lincoln was canned by the Holiday Inn for refusing to sign a bajillion-page employee contract. Well, Seth's now busing tables for Tomato Bros. And he's doing just fine. On May 23, he found a $100 bill on the restaurant's floor and turned it in to the manager. It was dropped by a distracted San Francisco woman who made an emergency trip to Coeur d'Alene to see her ailing father. Now on the mend, papa praised Seth: "His honesty and integrity brought a little bright spot to an otherwise upsetting emergency trip." Attaboy, Seth. Attaboys II & III: Two other Good Samaritans brightened Wally Goodsen's day recently. The Mullan man dropped a load of building supplies near the Silverlake Mall when his pickup tailgate popped open. And voila. Two young men appeared suddenly and helped Wally reload. Afterward, they wouldn't accept money. In fact, they thanked Wally for the warmup. They were on their way to a gym. Wally regrets that he didn't get their names. So do I.

Good Deed Gives Woman Pleasure, Bird Its Freedom

Kelly Sheffield isn't one to turn away from someone in need - friend or wildfowl. A secretary at the Kootenai County commissioners office, Kelly sent out an SOS recently when she discovered a bird trapped in the garage of a vacant house next door. A Hope Realty agent responded as fast as his little white shoes could carry him. A half hour later, the warbler was free. Said Kelly afterward: "It's not a big thing, but it made me feel really good." Ditto. Move over, Junior: Ken Griffey Jr. wasn't the only left-handed outfielder in the Northwest to land on the disabled list over the Memorial Day weekend. Coeur d'Alene Parks Director Doug Eastwood dislocated a thumb when he ran afoul of a pop fly during a church softball game. Alas, Doug didn't hang onto the ball like Junior did. ... You know you're no longer in Kansas, Toto, when you ask a waitress for the nosmoking section and she says: "Outside." You're at the Landmark Cafe in Noxon, Mont. ... Which brings back memories. Fifteen years ago, I wore a suit into Boisvert's tavern on U.S. Highway 2 between Libby and Kalispell, Mont. Faster than I could ask, "Which way to the men's room?" the woman barkeep snipped off my expensive tie with a pair of scissors and waved it around, cackling. I thought it best to laugh, too - since several loggers lined the bar, sizing me up. That convincing laugh got me and my three-piece suit out the door - in one piece.

Uncle John Kills Chances For Vikings

Ballplayers are superstitious. So, Coeur d'Alene High brothers Jason and Nick Rook were concerned when Uncle John (K103-FM) Rook drove to Boise Thursday to see the state baseball tournament. The Viks haven't won this year with John in the stands. In fact, John's absence over the last six regular games coincided with a win streak that carried the Vikings from last place to the state tournament. At Boise, the young Viks won two tough games before Uncle John's jinx kicked in again. Lewiston beat them in the finale. Oh well, no one expected the Viks to go that far - particularly with John watching. Wait'll next year. My tummy hurts: Coeur d'Alene Police Chief Dave Scates had the perfect excuse to skip jury duty last week and watch son Mark pitch in the state tournament. His department had handled each case he was called to hear (read, conflict of interest). ... Another sign that the tourists cometh: Home owners in the 200 blocks of Military and Park again have erected signs declaring the public alley between them a private driveway. At least this year, the signs are propped on fancy white posts. Nice touch. ... A young colleague caught my attention last week by slamming her phone and spouting angrily about attorneys. I didn't know what the problem was until I found out that she'd just finished talking with ol' journalist baiter Tom Mitchell. I met Tom in fall 1984 while covering the Blue Flame Co. trial. Tom was tough on reporters then; apparently, he hasn't lost his growl.

Accident-Prone Son Glad To Have A Doctor Along On Vacation

Tyler Fouche of Post Falls gives new meaning to the term, "accident prone." In the last three months, the 12-year-old has spiced up two family vacations by dislocating his right wrist in Guatemala and getting bitten by a stingray in San Diego. But there are two silver linings here. At least, the family made the 1995 trips. Last year, Bill and Colleen Fouche canceled a ski outing because, you guessed it, Tyler fell and broke his thumb - for the second time. And the second silver lining? Tyler's father is a doctor. Militia top 10: Someone anonymously faxed Kootenai County Prosecutor Bill Douglas a list of 10 reasons a la David Letterman why Coeur d'Alene doesn't have a militia. They include: (10) No one wants to upset the feds because they might cancel our food stamps, (8) Militia activities lack water sports, (4) Uniforms make your butt look fat, and (drum roll, please) (1) Who needs an overnight camp-out just to sleep with some smelly, paranoid guys in a pup tent. True confessions: Churches traditionally give gifts on Mother's Day to the oldest mom, newest mom, mom with the most kids, etc. But Pam Katus took top prize in a unique Post Falls Nazarene Church category: The Mom With The Most Traffic Tickets. ... Sightem by Mike Winderman on a downtown Spokane church: "Thou shalt not lie on thy Bloomsday score. It shall be reported." ... FYI: Kay See Ess Oh deputies apparently don't want any more broken bones or bashed heads, so they've backed out of their annual Pig Bowl football game with the CPD Blue. As a result, Chief Dave Scates' finest have challenged the Spokane Police Department to a June 11 rumble at Lake City High. Stay tuned. ... You know you're still living in a small town when a postcard arrives from Honduras addressed to the S-R's Coeur d'Alene office, "near Paul Bunyan's." "Gringo (Mike) Green" of Wallace writes that he's looking for an English-teaching job in Central America.

Nic Egghead Gets Fallout For Starlings

In recent years, we've blamed the appearance of starlings in and around North Idaho College on the sewer plant nearby. But no more. Now, starling watchers are convinced that the springtime return of the pesky birds are caused by (drum roll, please) NIC prez Bob Bennett. Yep. The starlings swoop down on Bob's folically impaired head every time he steps out of the administration building. Maybe they, like crows, are attracted to shiny things. Down & out at NIC. Erin Siemers, the talented photographer for the North Idaho College Sentinel and Publications Club president, pestered her papermates to give blood recently. For the cause. She figured the club could earn a few bucks by participating in the spring blood drive. In fact, the only time she shut up about the project was when her turn came. She fainted. The medical helpers were concerned. But Sentinel staffers report that Executive Editor Fekadu Kiros smiled and said, "That was refreshing! Siemers actually shut up for a whole 10 minutes."

It’s No Accident Kmc’s Team Beat Beat-Up Doctors

The refs weren't the only ones crying "foul" as Team KMC avenged a 1994 basketball loss to staff doctors, 66-58, (and raised $1,000 for charity). The Mighty Docs questioned the liberal recruiting policy of administrator/ coach Joe Morris. A player could qualify for Joe's team simply by having been born at Kootenai Medical Center. But the docs should have known from the start that this wasn't their year. During their first practice, three sawbones landed in the ER with assorted owies from a poked eye to cuts that needed stitches. Idaho daylight time

Accepting Clubs Ok; Shot Was Out Of Bounds

Andy Brunelle shows his appreciation oddly. Brunelle? He was an aide to ex-Gov. Cecil Andrus, and created a stir last December by accepting a set of custom-made golf clubs from the grateful forest industry. No ethics policies were violated, though, because Brunelle was between government jobs. (He's now with the U.S. Forest Service.) But the story doesn't end there. Brunelle proved his golf game needs fine-tuning during a recent round at the Hayden Lake Country Club with Joe Hinson, the Intermountain Forest Industry Association exec. While waiting for his new clubs to be made, Brunelle shanked a drive - and dented Joe's Blazer.

Democratic, Gop Jokesters Have A Field Day

Ah, the jokers - er, make that the jokes - were wild, as local elephants and donkeys eulogized and demonized, respectively, the GOP's "Contract With America" on Wednesday. ... Idaho state Republican Chairman Randy Smith told all who had forked over 40 clams that Kootenai County is (smooch smooch) essential and (Iluvaluvaluvyou) appreciated. Why, then, did he keep referring to it as "Kooten-eye County"? ... GOP emcee Pete Erbland genuflected to Rush, "The G-Man," et al.: "Let's not forget the impact of talk radio. You can finally bypass the normal media." I resent that, counselor. I've never met any normal media types. Fox trots stuff: Schools superintendent Anne Fox told the Lincoln Day gathering about having signed an autograph for a boy at a Boise shopping mall. Curious, she asked how he knew her. Responded the tyke: "You're my most favorite TV personality. I watch you every night on the evening news." ... Erbland deadpanned that Fox's greatest accomplishment was getting O.J. Simpson off Page 1. ... Fox finished on a high note: "You just watch out because the Fox is after the hounds, and she's on the move." Down but not out: Meanwhile, singing in their beer, the Jeffersonians offered new lyrics to an old GOP favorite: "In '94, we didn't win, but we'll get back in the game again; happy days will come again." ... State Sen. Clyde Boatright, R-Rathdrum, was targeted in a skit by a look-alike who said he was from North Idaho "where the wind blows so hard even Republican turkeys can fly." (Apparently, Democratic turkeys are too heavy, though. Right, Bob Brown?) ... Then, "Newt Gingrich" ended the debate about public-broadcast funding by shooting Big Bird. Harharhar? Later, Brad Stoddard was seen consoling two of his young sons, explaining that Big Bird wasn't really dead.

Customers Not Always In The Right

Connie House and Dan Hicks were visiting at the Kootenai County Retired Teachers Association luncheon last week when Connie ran out of water. So, Dan hailed a waitress who seemed confused by Connie's request for a refill. Dan then motioned to a small table that had two pitchers of water, and the waitress hesitantly filled Connie's glass. Later, Connie and Dan noticed with trepidation that their "waitress" was sitting at the head table next to association president Roger Young. Yep, they'd been served by Colleen Kelsy, director of the Post Falls alternative school, New Visions. I hope they left a good tip for the 1994 Idaho teacher of the year. 'Amazing Grace' sightems: More local actors in Patty Duke's TV series: professional witness Jim Clark and Judge James Judd in a courtroom scene, Mandee Kaiser in revivalist Burt Reynolds' choir, Terry Lincoln as a church trustee, and George Marler ("four times" according to the Kootenai Medical Center purchasing department). Any more? ... "Amazing Grace" got two (of four) thumbs up from the Oliveria Family Rating System. Mom & Dad voted thumbs up; Junior and the Woman Cub, thumbs down. Challenged Junior, "You wouldn't like it if it hadn't been filmed in Coeur d'Alene." (The kid comes by cynicism honestly.) And the Woman Cub declared: "Boring."

Calling All Cars Was A Lesson For Nic Class

Local dispatchers burned up the airwaves last week when an eyewitness reported seeing four youths in a field - one holding a gun on another, one with raised arms. The dispatchers knew none of the local gendarmes were arresting anyone. So, the dispatchers called out all cars, sending a dozen city, county and state officers scurrying licketysplit to the scene at Dalton and Ramsey. They should have called the North Idaho College law enforcement program, too. NIC police wannabes were practicing felony traffic stops along the street. Oops.

Forest Chief Lays Down Law For Department

An incomprehensible memo from U.S. Forest Service chief Jack Ward Thomas has underlings in stitches. Wrote Thomas on March 6: "I expect deputy chiefs, associate deputy chiefs and Washington office staff directors to emphasize and to be able to assure that 'horizontal' behavior has been considered and instituted to the extent appropriate to the specific situation." Gadzooks! Who says the USFS isn't accommodating? Before your mind wanders too far, try this definition for "horizontal behavior": teamwork. Onward.

Watch Out For ‘Very Old’ Moccasins

Coeur d'Alene's Robin York knows how to use scissors and a piece of material. A few years ago, she made herself a pair of moccasins and puttered around in them until she wore a hole in one toe. Then, she sold the moccasins at a garage sale for a quarter and forgot about them until recently - when she spotted them in a local antique store. But now they'd become "very old" moccasins with a retail price of $35. Be careful out there. The Fernan Resort? Mary Raffety has been here awhile, and so has C&R; Plumbing and Heating. So you can imagine Mary's amusement Tuesday when she spied a C&R; truck slowly cruising her Fernan neighborhood - looking for The Coeur d'Alene Resort. ... Law students are wondering why they need ethics classes after watching the antics of F. Lee Bailey, et al., at the O.J.fest. In fact, things have gotten so bad that a 1st District Court records clerk suffered a Freudian slip last week by referring a visitor to the "Lie Lawbrary." ... We've been discovered again (be still, my beating heart). Reporter Curtis Wilkie and the Boston Globe found us this time ("Idaho stirs a feisty love of freedom," Page 1, March 8). Bet you didn't know we were lost. Wilkie did a good job, leading with colorful quotes from Joe Peak of Enaville's Snake Pit (which reminded me it's been too long since I've had one of Joe's luncheon burgers). Who's on first? Can't blame Coeur d'Alene's Linda Tenicek for wondering if she's getting through to state bureaucrats. She's the guardian of an elderly aunt. Earlier this month, Linda complained to the state Department of Health and Welfare about care being given her aunt at an area rest home. Department workers responded to her detailed three-page letter with two sentences - addressed to her fragile aunt. ... By day, Craig Leaf is a Coeur d'Alene elementary teacher and junior varsity baseball coach; by night, he's "The Human Bowling Ball." On Friday, Craig missed an all-expenses-paid trip to a San Jose Sharks hockey game when he finished second in ice-bowling competition at a Spokane Chiefs game. The object of ice bowling is to hurl yourself across a rink into a rack of pins. Otherwise, Craig's fairly normal.

Deputy Had Just The Ticket For Lovebirds

KCSO Deputy Barry Alleman is my kind of cop. Recently, Alleman pulled over two Washington lovebirds hot-footing it to a Coeur d'Alene hitching post. The parents of the young fella had given him $250, and he was ready to tie the knot. Deputy Alleman tried to let the prospective groom off with a warning for going 60 mph in a 45 zone. But he didn't have a driver's license. Nor did his fiancee. In fact, both had had their licenses suspended. The deputy didn't want to be a party pooper, but that was way over the line. (Read, go directly to jail; do not pass "Go.") The driver used $240 of his windfall for bail. Bet that put a damper on his honeymoon plans. Jailhouse blues: Kootenai County jailbirds thought they'd initiate their new nurse properly. But they didn't count on Los Angeles transplant Denise Huffman being jailwise. Several asked jailers to take them to her office, complaining of an inability to urinate. Miraculously, however, they were healed when Denise reached for a catheter. ... The recent Indian Gaming Magazine referred to Coeur d'Alene Tribe press secretary Bob Bostwick as a "tribal member." He's not. The ex-Spokane newscaster classifies himself as an enrolled WASP-Okie. ... Apparently, state Rep. Wayne Meyer, R-Rathdrum, has taken literally the advice given to all freshmen: Be seen and not heard. When Meyer rose to speak Thursday, the next-to-last day of the 1995 session, a veteran Statehouse reporter stared at him and said, "Who's this? I've never seen him before."

Mayor Chaney Finally Gets The Picture

Sandpoint Mayor Ron Chaney blew a gasket last week when a Q-6 cameraman dared shoot the home of his New Best Friend, LAPD Detective Mark Fuhrman. The mayor rushed to the scene, gave Q-6's Tobby Hatley a tonguelashing and called the cops. SPD Blue, recognizing that Hatley could film a house from a public street even in Sandpoint, Amerika, told Chaney they couldn't do anything. (P.S. Q-6 has sent a letter to Chaney demanding a public apology.) Fan mail: Priest River Elementary staffers also were in a snit last week. They were angry that Huckleberries (March 6) repeated an innocent question asked of NASA astronaut Tom Jones by a third-grader: "The first time you went up in the shuttle, were you so scared that you peed your pants?" Carla Stevens, speaking for the school, writes that H. Hound "ridiculed a student who asked an inappropriate question" and wonders why I went on "to expand upon the only questionable thing" of a glorious day. Why? Because it was funny. And the question wasn't inappropriate. Do you know what's one of the top questions asked astronauts - by adults as well as children? "How do you go to the bathroom in space?"