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There are two documents that dominate American life in matters small and large – the Constitution and the two-point conversion chart. The former is fundamentally sound and widely revered if somewhat flawed; the latter is just flawed.
MLS is the only major U.S. professional sports league whose teams fly like the rest of us, stuffed into economy class and praying the guy in front of you doesn’t fully recline his seat – citing competitive balance and cost factors, it limits teams to four charter flights a year.
My old friend and former colleague Michael Wilbon – we haven’t spoken in years, since he ascended to a higher social and professional stratosphere – used to often talk about how Washington, D.C., was a bad sports town and Chicago was a good sports town, and he’d go on and on and on about bad sports towns and good sports towns.
Editor’s note: This week Couch Slouch is presenting several sets of disturbing facts and figures – all verified by an independent auditor – in regard to the interminable, inexplicable NFL coaching career of Jeff Fisher. Some of these numbers might shock and jolt people’s sensibilities; reader discretion is advised. Jeff Fisher is tied for 11th, with Bill Parcells, for career victories among NFL head coaches. Tied for 11th! That is a lot of victories.
The 2016-17 NBA season has a single overwhelming story line: Will the Golden State Warriors – 73-9 and almost-NBA champions last season – go 74-10 or better and become actual NBA champions this season?
Like the rest of you – well, not the rest of you but those who don’t work and those who prefer to sleep in – I have been watching MLB’s postseason in the middle of the day and the middle of the night.
Before unveiling this year’s NFL Team of Destiny – I understand that Team of Destiny announcement parties are all the rage at Big Ten and SEC frat houses – Couch Slouch would like to put in a good word or two about the historically inept New Orleans Saints.
I ran into a couple of lost St. Louis souls last week, and, lo and behold, they were still whining about the Rams leaving town. They even implied that I was somehow to blame for stealing their perpetually woebegone, perpetually underachieving NFL franchise.
Across America these days, there are pitched battles over the rights of people to gamble. In particular, online poker and daily fantasy sports – two cash cows that plunged into our lives over the past decade or so – are fighting to get back into our homes and relieve many of their customers of a lot of their money.
Against all odds, Major League Soccer is currently expanding faster than the universe.
When word spread recently that Odell Beckham Jr. might be romantically linked to Khloe Kardashian, prayer vigils popped up in locker rooms nationwide to lend spiritual support for yet another professional athlete cut down in his prime.
Couch Slouch would like to apologize to Canada, and to all Canadians.
Syracuse University, perhaps the nation’s premier institution of higher learning in terms of balancing academic excellence with athletic achievement, has announced it will offer the first-ever U.S. bachelor’s degree in sports analytics.
How is this possible? Last year the NFL wouldn’t allow Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo to hold a fantasy event attached to a Las Vegas casino, this year an NFL owner is trying to move his team to Las Vegas.
America’s unending quest to empty public coffers to build new stadiums has taken an insidious turn over the last 20 years: The hotel tax.
LeBron James unfollowed the Cleveland Cavaliers last week on Twitter, which apparently was the equivalent of the Pope skipping Easter Sunday Mass for a bingo tournament. There was a global uprising of sorts, which speaks to two phenomena – LeBron and Twitter – that have careened out of control.
It is time for Couch Slouch’s annual state-of-the-NHL address – delivered, well, not quite annually but every several years, depending on mood – in which we assess the health of the only major North American professional sports league that struggles almost as much as Major League Soccer.
Miami Marlins manager Don Mattingly – who sported a mustache while playing with the New York Yankees – recently announced a new team policy that all players must be clean-shaven.
Have you taken a gander at our presidential candidates? We’re not talking a hatful of winners here, folks. Frankly, I think we have a better shot of finding the next U.S. president from the sports world than the political world.
Today, Couch Slouch presents two columns in one – an unmatched bargain in these demanding economic times – both involving our ever-tattered institutions of higher learning. First we will bring you the remarkable link between chocolate milk and concussions.